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They did it again.
Once again, he wakes up to the sound of the blankets being pulled back and the weight of the bed shifting next to him as Aki gets up and out of bed. He can hear him shuffle and gather his things from the desk across the room and then there it is again: a silent pause.
All movement stops and the only sound to be heard is the sound of the cars outside his window. He doesn't even hear Aki breathe. It's like he's holding his breath and even if he cant see him, he can practically imagine Aki standing next to him.
Tsurumaru keeps his breathing steady and soft, still feigning sleep. In and out, in and out, in and... he's certainly taking longer than usual this time, isn't he? He almost wonders if Aki has figured out that he isn't really sleeping and is now just waiting.
Waiting for him to wake up.
Waiting for him to say something.
Waiting for something to change.
Finally, the edge of the blanket gives way and feels it being pulled up and tucked around him. It something he's begun to do and Tsurumaru finds himself anticipating it each time because when it happens, he can finally stir, flutter his eyes open to look up at Aki and see.
At first he'd waited until he turned his back. Then he waited until he pulled away. Now he wakes just in time to see his face. The first time he saw him, he smiled back. He recognized the look. He'd seen it enough times to know.
Yes.
Look at me.
Im beautiful.
Take a look.
But only look.
That's what he had thought the first few times. He preened under his gaze, so amused by the fact that he could only watch.
He only watches for a moment before turning away. Nothing more.
Now he wonders why.
He wonders why he only watches. He never does more.
At some point something changed. He still watches him in the way that tells him he wants something more but lately he feels like it's more than that. He doesn't feel like an ordinary, beautiful thing. There's more.
"Are you leaving?" Tsurumaru asks before he can linger on his thoughts any more.
"Yeah." Aki replies and he turns his back and straightens out his clothes.
Tsurumaru sits up, undoing his careful work and studies him from behind.
Little by little, their routine changes.
You don't have to rush.
You don't have to go so soon.
You can stay a little longer.
"You could stay." He finds himself saying. It's an open offer, one without a limit. It hangs in the air between them and suddenly everything feels heavier and slower.
Aki doesn't look back when he speaks but his tone is light, humorous, "i can't. my things are in my room."
Unbothered, Tsurumaru slips back under the covers, pulling them around his neck and watches as Aki heads towards the door.
He lets him go.
And when he's gone he finds himself jealous of the things he's been left for.
-----
"You're leaving?"
Aki chuckles as he gathers up his coat. "Yes," he replies, his tone tired but amused. It's the same question with the same answer. Just another part that repeats. "My things are in my room."
"Like what?" Tsurumaru asks curiously. "You spend more time here and with Denji-kun."
Tsurumaru sits up, crossing his legs in front of him and wrapping the blanket around his shoulders as he watches Aki from behind. "Do you really go to your room?"
"Yes." Aki replies patiently.
"What do you do?"
"Curious?"
"Tell me." (Yes.)
"I wake up, I wash my face, I brush my teeth, I take a shower..."
"I didn't know your room was also the bathroom..." Tsurumaru mumbles.
"Of course it isn't."
"You told me that last time. what do else do you need in your room?"
Straightening his coat, he sighs again and turns to look at Tsurumaru to add, "I have to change."
"You can do that here." Tsurumaru insists and Aki freezes. Is he... pouting? He wonders but before he can ask, Tsurumaru teases, "If you're shy, I can look away."
"You've seen me naked." He isn't shy.
"So why can't you stay?"
There are things he could say. He could stay. He would like to stay. He wants to stay. But he worries if he does, he might never leave.
"I usually make coffee and read the news."
Tsurumaru's eyes move towards his desk. Near and organized, a simple box with his personal belongings, a roost for his growing number of hummingbirds, a simple kettle, and a container of tea. He could easily get the news through their implants but the coffee... Tsurumaru quietly accepts defeat and once again, Aki leaves the victor.
-------
"What's this?" Aki asks, immediately noting the additional container next to Tsurumaru's tea tin.
"It's coffee." Tsurumaru replies matter of factly, as if he was speaking about something as obvious and casual as the weather.
But Tsurumaru doesn't drink coffee and Aki knows it. If given a choice between coffee and tea, he would always prefer green tea. He raises a brow and looks over towards Tsurumaru who is busy preparing his bed. "Are you allowed to drink coffee?"
"Of course I am." Tsurumaru replies.
Aki removes the lid and looks inside. Sticks of instant coffee, packs of sugar, and powdered creamer alongside single use drip cups. Different roasts, different brands.
"I didn't know what you like." He explains, almost defensive.
"It's fine." Aki insists and he folds his clothes neatly, placing them in the top drawer alongside the extra toothbrushes and shower supplies that have slowly started to collect over time. "... thank you."
Tsurumaru hums in response. "You can have it in the morning."
***
"Do you need anything else?" Tsurumaru asks as he settles next to him.
Only you, Aki wants to say but instead he mumbles, "no."
"Then sleep in." Tsurumaru insists, "you wake me up when you leave."
"Sorry?" Aki replies, unsure if Tsurumaru is complaining or not. It doesn't sound like he is but then again, most people don't like being woken up.
"Don't apologize," Tsurumaru hums, pulling the blankets up over them and placing a delicate hand on Aki's arm as he lies next to him, "Just stay."
Once again, he wakes up to the sound of the blankets being pulled back and the weight of the bed shifting next to him as Aki gets up and out of bed. He can hear him shuffle and gather his things from the desk across the room and then there it is again: a silent pause.
All movement stops and the only sound to be heard is the sound of the cars outside his window. He doesn't even hear Aki breathe. It's like he's holding his breath and even if he cant see him, he can practically imagine Aki standing next to him.
Tsurumaru keeps his breathing steady and soft, still feigning sleep. In and out, in and out, in and... he's certainly taking longer than usual this time, isn't he? He almost wonders if Aki has figured out that he isn't really sleeping and is now just waiting.
Waiting for him to wake up.
Waiting for him to say something.
Waiting for something to change.
Finally, the edge of the blanket gives way and feels it being pulled up and tucked around him. It something he's begun to do and Tsurumaru finds himself anticipating it each time because when it happens, he can finally stir, flutter his eyes open to look up at Aki and see.
At first he'd waited until he turned his back. Then he waited until he pulled away. Now he wakes just in time to see his face. The first time he saw him, he smiled back. He recognized the look. He'd seen it enough times to know.
Yes.
Look at me.
Im beautiful.
Take a look.
But only look.
That's what he had thought the first few times. He preened under his gaze, so amused by the fact that he could only watch.
He only watches for a moment before turning away. Nothing more.
Now he wonders why.
He wonders why he only watches. He never does more.
At some point something changed. He still watches him in the way that tells him he wants something more but lately he feels like it's more than that. He doesn't feel like an ordinary, beautiful thing. There's more.
"Are you leaving?" Tsurumaru asks before he can linger on his thoughts any more.
"Yeah." Aki replies and he turns his back and straightens out his clothes.
Tsurumaru sits up, undoing his careful work and studies him from behind.
Little by little, their routine changes.
You don't have to rush.
You don't have to go so soon.
You can stay a little longer.
"You could stay." He finds himself saying. It's an open offer, one without a limit. It hangs in the air between them and suddenly everything feels heavier and slower.
Aki doesn't look back when he speaks but his tone is light, humorous, "i can't. my things are in my room."
Unbothered, Tsurumaru slips back under the covers, pulling them around his neck and watches as Aki heads towards the door.
He lets him go.
And when he's gone he finds himself jealous of the things he's been left for.
-----
"You're leaving?"
Aki chuckles as he gathers up his coat. "Yes," he replies, his tone tired but amused. It's the same question with the same answer. Just another part that repeats. "My things are in my room."
"Like what?" Tsurumaru asks curiously. "You spend more time here and with Denji-kun."
Tsurumaru sits up, crossing his legs in front of him and wrapping the blanket around his shoulders as he watches Aki from behind. "Do you really go to your room?"
"Yes." Aki replies patiently.
"What do you do?"
"Curious?"
"Tell me." (Yes.)
"I wake up, I wash my face, I brush my teeth, I take a shower..."
"I didn't know your room was also the bathroom..." Tsurumaru mumbles.
"Of course it isn't."
"You told me that last time. what do else do you need in your room?"
Straightening his coat, he sighs again and turns to look at Tsurumaru to add, "I have to change."
"You can do that here." Tsurumaru insists and Aki freezes. Is he... pouting? He wonders but before he can ask, Tsurumaru teases, "If you're shy, I can look away."
"You've seen me naked." He isn't shy.
"So why can't you stay?"
There are things he could say. He could stay. He would like to stay. He wants to stay. But he worries if he does, he might never leave.
"I usually make coffee and read the news."
Tsurumaru's eyes move towards his desk. Near and organized, a simple box with his personal belongings, a roost for his growing number of hummingbirds, a simple kettle, and a container of tea. He could easily get the news through their implants but the coffee... Tsurumaru quietly accepts defeat and once again, Aki leaves the victor.
-------
"What's this?" Aki asks, immediately noting the additional container next to Tsurumaru's tea tin.
"It's coffee." Tsurumaru replies matter of factly, as if he was speaking about something as obvious and casual as the weather.
But Tsurumaru doesn't drink coffee and Aki knows it. If given a choice between coffee and tea, he would always prefer green tea. He raises a brow and looks over towards Tsurumaru who is busy preparing his bed. "Are you allowed to drink coffee?"
"Of course I am." Tsurumaru replies.
Aki removes the lid and looks inside. Sticks of instant coffee, packs of sugar, and powdered creamer alongside single use drip cups. Different roasts, different brands.
"I didn't know what you like." He explains, almost defensive.
"It's fine." Aki insists and he folds his clothes neatly, placing them in the top drawer alongside the extra toothbrushes and shower supplies that have slowly started to collect over time. "... thank you."
Tsurumaru hums in response. "You can have it in the morning."
***
"Do you need anything else?" Tsurumaru asks as he settles next to him.
Only you, Aki wants to say but instead he mumbles, "no."
"Then sleep in." Tsurumaru insists, "you wake me up when you leave."
"Sorry?" Aki replies, unsure if Tsurumaru is complaining or not. It doesn't sound like he is but then again, most people don't like being woken up.
"Don't apologize," Tsurumaru hums, pulling the blankets up over them and placing a delicate hand on Aki's arm as he lies next to him, "Just stay."