"Us." He says and a thought immediately flashes through his mind. What about us? What are we? And his heart twists. It's slight, but Aki may feel the way Tsurumaru's own grip seems to tighten almost by reflex.
Sitting on the bed, he leaves a space for Aki to sit next to him and turns to face him, to give him his full attention.
[ The hand tightens, and Aki realises the misstep.
'Us'. Is there even an 'Us' to talk about? He might have confessed to Tsurumaru, but they never agreed to anything. They're just... Together. Enjoying one another's company. He shifts awkwardly, looking away, unable to meet Tsurumaru's eyes.
He's messed it up, and he doesn't want to admit the guilt of it. ]
He said he was happy for me. That's not the important point here.
[ Aki's eyes blink rapidly, as if he's fighting tears. ]
(He's a sensitive spirit. Aki, that is. Of course, he notices. Likewise, Tsurumaru also notices and he leans in, under, and looks up. If Aki won't meet him then he will. It's not his fault that he's like this. It's not his fault that he's so afraid of making things real because real things can be lost.
But at the same time, this isn't about "us." It's about "them" and it's easy to try and redirect his attention. )
Hayakawa Denji. (He says it too. Because once spoken, it becomes real... and this time, it's good. It's good to make it real. It's good to say it.) What a good name. It has a ring to it.
[ Aki's eyes are a little dark, his expression somewhere between joy and grief, a strange twist of agony and discomfort before he breathes out. Reaching up, he tugs the band out of his hair and lets his fingers run through it, before he leans back against the other man's body.
It's easier, with the warmth of a body beside him, and he closes his eyes, leaning down. ]
I didn't know. I had no idea that he'd chosen to...
[ The tears are coming. Aki can't help himself. He'd changed his will to make sure Denji was taken care of. He'd given up on the Gun Devil. He'd found happiness.
Then it had all been ripped away from him, because of his desire to protect Denji.
But... They're together here...
Blinking rapidly, he breathes out a sharp sound. ]
(Oh. He can feel the way Aki trembles and sniffles and while he gives him a reassuring squeeze, he doesn't move to brush those tears away. It's good to cry. It's good to let the tears flow,)
Of course. You're precious.
(Speaking softly, holding him close, brushing his hair,)
Hayakawa Aki is a good man. Surprisingly good.
(Truly and he leans in to whispers soothingly,)
Is it so hard to believe? That you're loved? (Because this isn't the first time, is it? He'd been misconceived about Sadayasu and now, he's been oblivious to Denji.) It's no surprise to me.
[ It's hard not to sink into Tsurumaru, to let some of his grief go, and he breathes out softly. ]
I've never been called precious before.
[ His voice comes out as an awkward little laugh, even as he tries to sniffle back his tears.
He's always been alone, hasn't he...? Since his family died... Until Denji. Until Power. ]
I didn't want to care about other people, not even my team members. It was easier to focus on other things, because all that mattered to me was the Gun Devil. But then there was Denji, and Power, and Angel.
(He lets out that broken laugh and it's only now that he raises a hand to Aki's cheek, to wipe at some of those tears with the edge of his sleeve,)
You're precious.
(He'll say it again. Just so he knows.)
You have a good spirit and a kind heart.
(He may have been drawn to him because he was fun to tease and indulged his shenanigans but he'd stayed and given him a chance because of his better nature. It's why he... ah. Enough of that.
He gives Aki a crooked smile. There's something almost shy to it and he shifts his attention to wiping at his face, brushing away tears and blows on his forehead, letting the cool air flush away some of the heat,)
You can have me.
(He'll allow it. He's given himself plenty already.)
But more importantly, right now, you have Denji-kun too. You always did.
[ The laugh makes him turn his head, as if realising that he's not alone, that the surrounding arms are solid and real, and he sniffles a little, shaking his head. ]
Tsuru...
[ It's hard to believe these things. Tsurumaru has only seen the best of him, hasn't he? Not his scolding, or his irritation, or the way he risks his life without hesitation. It makes him pause, before he breathes out a little and sinks a little closer.
He wants to be held.
He wants to be taken care of.
(He always takes care of the others...)
Kissing Tsurumaru's palm gently, he smiles. ]
I'm glad that I know it, now. I'm glad he understands how important he is.
[ He cuddles as close as he can get to Tsuru, face pressed into the other man's gently, despite how damp it is. ]
(It's good to see him relaxing again and even if his face is blotchy from crying. It's a good look because he knows it comes from a place of happiness.
... and he pinches his cheek.)
Feeling better, Aki-kun?
(Aki-kun... because he's being so cute right now.)
(Ah, he's surprised. He should know better than now. He's known Aki also has the spirit of a menace but it still surprises him when he finds himself being put in his place.
Effectively caught off guard, it's easy to let Aki do what he wants. Of course, even if he was prepared, he'd let him get away with it.... When they pull away, he grumbles, )
You're definitely better.
(Definitely not upset or worked up anymore.)
Alright then. You can stay a little while longer. (And he's going to make himself comfortable,) But later, you should spend time with Denji-kun.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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"Us." He says and a thought immediately flashes through his mind. What about us? What are we? And his heart twists. It's slight, but Aki may feel the way Tsurumaru's own grip seems to tighten almost by reflex.
Sitting on the bed, he leaves a space for Aki to sit next to him and turns to face him, to give him his full attention.
He's anxious. He's still anxious when he asks,)
What did he say?
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'Us'. Is there even an 'Us' to talk about? He might have confessed to Tsurumaru, but they never agreed to anything. They're just... Together. Enjoying one another's company. He shifts awkwardly, looking away, unable to meet Tsurumaru's eyes.
He's messed it up, and he doesn't want to admit the guilt of it. ]
He said he was happy for me. That's not the important point here.
[ Aki's eyes blink rapidly, as if he's fighting tears. ]
He told me... His name is Hayakawa Denji.
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But at the same time, this isn't about "us." It's about "them" and it's easy to try and redirect his attention. )
Hayakawa Denji. (He says it too. Because once spoken, it becomes real... and this time, it's good. It's good to make it real. It's good to say it.) What a good name. It has a ring to it.
(And he smiles softly,)
Were you surprised?
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It's easier, with the warmth of a body beside him, and he closes his eyes, leaning down. ]
I didn't know. I had no idea that he'd chosen to...
[ He swallows. ]
We're family.
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You're family. (There's no doubt about that,) You love each other.
I see.
(And he hums,)
You live.
(Even if it's just in name.)
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[ The tears are coming. Aki can't help himself. He'd changed his will to make sure Denji was taken care of. He'd given up on the Gun Devil. He'd found happiness.
Then it had all been ripped away from him, because of his desire to protect Denji.
But... They're together here...
Blinking rapidly, he breathes out a sharp sound. ]
I... Didn't know how much I meant, too. To him.
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Of course. You're precious.
(Speaking softly, holding him close, brushing his hair,)
Hayakawa Aki is a good man. Surprisingly good.
(Truly and he leans in to whispers soothingly,)
Is it so hard to believe? That you're loved? (Because this isn't the first time, is it? He'd been misconceived about Sadayasu and now, he's been oblivious to Denji.) It's no surprise to me.
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I've never been called precious before.
[ His voice comes out as an awkward little laugh, even as he tries to sniffle back his tears.
He's always been alone, hasn't he...? Since his family died... Until Denji. Until Power. ]
I didn't want to care about other people, not even my team members. It was easier to focus on other things, because all that mattered to me was the Gun Devil. But then there was Denji, and Power, and Angel.
[ A glance to the side. ]
... And you.
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You're precious.
(He'll say it again. Just so he knows.)
You have a good spirit and a kind heart.
(He may have been drawn to him because he was fun to tease and indulged his shenanigans but he'd stayed and given him a chance because of his better nature. It's why he... ah. Enough of that.
He gives Aki a crooked smile. There's something almost shy to it and he shifts his attention to wiping at his face, brushing away tears and blows on his forehead, letting the cool air flush away some of the heat,)
You can have me.
(He'll allow it. He's given himself plenty already.)
But more importantly, right now, you have Denji-kun too. You always did.
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Tsuru...
[ It's hard to believe these things. Tsurumaru has only seen the best of him, hasn't he? Not his scolding, or his irritation, or the way he risks his life without hesitation. It makes him pause, before he breathes out a little and sinks a little closer.
He wants to be held.
He wants to be taken care of.
(He always takes care of the others...)
Kissing Tsurumaru's palm gently, he smiles. ]
I'm glad that I know it, now. I'm glad he understands how important he is.
[ He cuddles as close as he can get to Tsuru, face pressed into the other man's gently, despite how damp it is. ]
You can have me, too.
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Holding Aki's face, he laughs lightly and pats him on the cheek,)
And how important you are, too.
(Don't forget. Brushing back the hair from his face, pushing his bangs away, he kisses his forehead. This is a tender moment, a gentle one,)
No more worries from now on.
(He doesn't have to worry about what he doesn't have. He has plenty.)
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He doesn't have that much longer. He can take a little more of this, enjoy it for a little more.
Can't he? ]
I'll do my best, Tsuru.
[ Leaning up, he lets himself relax, finally, the tears sprinkling away. ]
Thank you.
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(It's good to see him relaxing again and even if his face is blotchy from crying. It's a good look because he knows it comes from a place of happiness.
... and he pinches his cheek.)
Feeling better, Aki-kun?
(Aki-kun... because he's being so cute right now.)
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I am.
[ The honorific, though... He leans in and steals a kiss, sliding their mouths together, soft and careful. ]
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Effectively caught off guard, it's easy to let Aki do what he wants. Of course, even if he was prepared, he'd let him get away with it.... When they pull away, he grumbles, )
You're definitely better.
(Definitely not upset or worked up anymore.)
Alright then. You can stay a little while longer. (And he's going to make himself comfortable,) But later, you should spend time with Denji-kun.
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How would I not feel better, having you here with me?
[ Moving, he settles back, sighing softly. ]
I'll see him later. It's our time right now.