(Luckily for them, Tsurumaru is trapped in the base until the sun sets. Only being able to go out at night has also more or less messed up his sleep schedule lately so he's been sleeping in a lot more. All of this is just to say...)
My room still.
(In fact, he's only been sleeping for a little while. After he has a few minutes to wake up,)
🍁?
(Aki? Is something wrong? He's going to reach for his ring next to him........)
[ A strange thing to say, from Aki, who might have been so guarded before. He makes his way through the corridors, wearing his ring and twisting it on his finger, heedless. Pained. ]
A strange thing to say indeed and it makes Tsurumaru sit up in bed and begin to prepare for Aki's arrival.)
I'll wait.
(He won't wear it until Aki says he can. Still, he keeps it tightly held in the palm of his hand. Something is wrong. He doesn't know what but he doesn't need a special ring to sense that something is wrong.)
[ It takes a strangely long time for Aki to get to Tsurumaru's room, considering - which betrays the fact that he wasn't with Denji, shockingly enough. Eventually, he gets there, gets the door open, and hovers in the doorway.
It's like whiplash, a flashback, when he stood in the doorway of his old apartment, his arm wasn't his own, his body wasn't, and he grits his teeth as his flesh fingers reach out to grip metal.
(He's surprised by how long it takes. He's been able to fix up his bed and take some of his iron pills to hold him over. He's slipped his ring on to his finger but he's careful no to activate it, though, he considers when Aki doesn't arrive when he expects.
The door opens and he looks up. Aki lingering in the doorway is also strange and he gets up to meet him, arms spread and coming to hold him,)
[ For a moment, he doesn't move, doesn't even blink, just stares. It takes a brief flicker for the words to register in his mind, and then he's stepping through the threshold and making his way to Tsurumaru, reaching out.
He stumbles at the final hurdle, dropping to his knees, falling into his lover's arms and being glad for the anchor. ]
(He... catches him. He catches him in his arms and drops down with him, kneeling down with him and holding him close. Something is wrong. Something is wrong and he doesn't know what. Once again, his thoughts flicker over to his ring but he still doesn't activate it.
"I'm dead."
It's kind of amazing that all of this time, he doesn't really know much about people regaining memories from home. So when he hears Aki, he reaches to hold his face in his hands. He feels warm to him, he can feel him breathing, and he frowns, confused,)
[ It's hard to speak, his voice hoarse, his eyes filled with damp, horrible tears, but his hands reach to grip at Tsurumaru's wrists, hard enough to hurt if he isn't careful. He wants to be careful, but he can't focus. ]
Denji told me what happened, when I died. But I've seen it now.
(And this is how it dawns on him. While he keeps his calm, it's impossible for him to truly hide it. His expression still drops the moment he sees Aki's the face, the moment he hears him, and tries to wipe away those tears, leans in to press his forehead to his and try to soothe him. He doesn't mind the way Aki holds him. Even if it hurts, he knows it's only a fraction of what he feels.
The gun devil. Becoming a fiend. Being killed by Denji. He's heard enough.)
And now you're home. You're here again.
(He has no idea how this works actually but he wants to remind Aki where he is. It's important to keep him grounded and he speaks calmly,)
Aki-kun, look at me. (He doesn't want Aki to panic. He doesn't want him to spiral and get worse. He has to keep his head above the water so to speak,) You're here.
(And he gives him a gentle tug, urging him to come closer,)
Tell me what's on your mind.
(He turns his wrist in Aki's hand so he can hold his hand, let his fingers trace his ring,)
Or if your heart is too heavy... you can share it with me.
(And he kisses his forehead softly. He'll only intrude if Aki allows it.)
[ Aki sinks into him, falls into him, unable to do anything else. Careful arms reach out and wrap around him, shoving his face into the warm, comforting space of his lover's neck, breathing him in, wanting, wanting so much.
He wishes he could forget. He wishes he could make it all disappear, go away. The pain, the hurt, the ache of it all...
And Denji still feels it, now, day after day after day. It makes him want to scream.
Instead, he lets himself be held, comforted, warm in the arms of someone who he loves so desperately. ]
(He'll never let go and he lets Aki rest with him, both of them sitting on the ground in his dimly lit room. Wrapping his arms around him properly, he strokes Aki's back gently and rocks,)
In, out, in, out...
(Reminding Aki to breathe softly,)
As long as you live, I won't let you go. (And surely, if he's holding him now, Aki must be alive. At least, in this world.) No one else is here so do what you must.
[ Aki all but climbs into his lap, all but burrows himself in the warmth, the sanctuary of Tsurumaru's arms. There are things he wants to do, wants to ask, but he cannot do it; he fears what might happen at the touch of the gun, if he were to see Makima again, all of it.
He's afraid, he's so afraid.
Leaning in, the tears roll down his cheeks, and he sobs, broken and sad, crying until his voice is hoarse. Until his throat can barely keep words in motion, fingers gripping at his lover with all that he has.
Never letting go. They'll never let go.
As long as you live, Tsuru says, but isn't Aki already dead...? ]
(He shifts to let Aki settle into him more comfortably and merely comforts him. Rocking gently, brushing his hair, he occasionally whispers or hums soothingly to his lover.
Ah, what a heartwrenching cry and his heart aches and twists for him. While he's seen Aki miserable before, he's never heard him like this and it all makes him wonder...
Undoubtedly, he's been fated to carry a miserable and heavy burden, but how much has this man held back?)
Oh, Aki. Go ahead and cry.
(Contrasting with how desperately he holds onto him, how tightly he keeps him in his embrace, Tsurumaru only leans in gently, nuzzling his face against his, brushing his hair softly.)
[ Aki does cry; he cries until it feels as if he can't do anything else except cry, the tears rolling down his cheeks, hot and pained. He can't do this in front of Denji, can't share it with the other man, has to tuck it away, because hasn't Denji suffered enough?
Hasn't he been through enough?
Agonised, hurt, he grips at Tsurumaru until there's nothing left within him, until the only thing he can do is lean into his lover, holding on, quiet and so, so tired. ]
(His emotions come out in the rawest and one of the most primitive forms of human communication. Not a single word can express how he feels and all this man can do is cry and cry until he exhausts himself.
It's agonizingly long and he wishes so much that he could take it all away. If only he could make it better. If he could save him. When it finally goes silent, he lets the silence settle around them. He listens to shuddering, breaths and feels the way his body shakes in his embrace. When he begins to calm, he leans in and kisses the top of his forehead,)
Come here, love.
(Though he may be lean and seem delicate to all who see him, he's much stronger than he looks. He shifts and slowly, so slowly urges Aki to rise with him. )
Come rest. (And he'll gladly do the heavy lifting. He'll easily guide him over to his bed and set him down upon it,) Close your eyes and rest. No one else is here.
[ Aki goes, because he doesn't have the strength to resist, the strength to do anything except lie down on the bed and reach for Tsurumaru, to lean in to the warm length of his body and cling to what feels the most real to him.
Each brush of his metal arm against his skin has him wincing, feeling uncomfortable and on edge, but it's not the kind of prosthetic he can just take off. It's stuck to him now, and it doesn't elude him just how close to a gun's metallic sheen it actually is.
Instead of saying anything about it, he sighs, reaching out to grip at Tsurumaru's clothing, to hold himself close. ]
I'll - please. Keep me safe. Just a little longer.
(Gently, so gently, he removes Aki's hands from his clothes but he makes sure to keep ahold of him as he settles down and sits next to him. He can play his head on his lap if he would like. Then, Tsurumaru will pull the covers over him, tuck him in carefully. He can't help but laugh softly,)
Why settle for a little when you can have all of my time?
(Running his fingers through his hair and rubbing his tired, heavy shoulders,)
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
@topknot
Tsuru. Location?
no subject
My room still.
(In fact, he's only been sleeping for a little while. After he has a few minutes to wake up,)
🍁?
(Aki? Is something wrong? He's going to reach for his ring next to him........)
no subject
no subject
(Of course, he can come.)
Do you have your ring on? I can keep mine off if you'd like.
no subject
[ A strange thing to say, from Aki, who might have been so guarded before. He makes his way through the corridors, wearing his ring and twisting it on his finger, heedless. Pained. ]
no subject
A strange thing to say indeed and it makes Tsurumaru sit up in bed and begin to prepare for Aki's arrival.)
I'll wait.
(He won't wear it until Aki says he can. Still, he keeps it tightly held in the palm of his hand. Something is wrong. He doesn't know what but he doesn't need a special ring to sense that something is wrong.)
no subject
It's like whiplash, a flashback, when he stood in the doorway of his old apartment, his arm wasn't his own, his body wasn't, and he grits his teeth as his flesh fingers reach out to grip metal.
It makes him jerk, as if burned. ]
Tsuru.
no subject
The door opens and he looks up. Aki lingering in the doorway is also strange and he gets up to meet him, arms spread and coming to hold him,)
Aki. (Come here.) I'm here. Come inside.
no subject
He stumbles at the final hurdle, dropping to his knees, falling into his lover's arms and being glad for the anchor. ]
Tsurumaru... I'm dead.
no subject
"I'm dead."
It's kind of amazing that all of this time, he doesn't really know much about people regaining memories from home. So when he hears Aki, he reaches to hold his face in his hands. He feels warm to him, he can feel him breathing, and he frowns, confused,)
Aki?
(He studies his face carefully,)
What happened?
no subject
[ It's hard to speak, his voice hoarse, his eyes filled with damp, horrible tears, but his hands reach to grip at Tsurumaru's wrists, hard enough to hurt if he isn't careful. He wants to be careful, but he can't focus. ]
Denji told me what happened, when I died. But I've seen it now.
no subject
The gun devil. Becoming a fiend. Being killed by Denji. He's heard enough.)
And now you're home. You're here again.
(He has no idea how this works actually but he wants to remind Aki where he is. It's important to keep him grounded and he speaks calmly,)
Aki-kun, look at me. (He doesn't want Aki to panic. He doesn't want him to spiral and get worse. He has to keep his head above the water so to speak,) You're here.
(And he gives him a gentle tug, urging him to come closer,)
Tell me what's on your mind.
(He turns his wrist in Aki's hand so he can hold his hand, let his fingers trace his ring,)
Or if your heart is too heavy... you can share it with me.
(And he kisses his forehead softly. He'll only intrude if Aki allows it.)
no subject
[ Aki sinks into him, falls into him, unable to do anything else. Careful arms reach out and wrap around him, shoving his face into the warm, comforting space of his lover's neck, breathing him in, wanting, wanting so much.
He wishes he could forget. He wishes he could make it all disappear, go away. The pain, the hurt, the ache of it all...
And Denji still feels it, now, day after day after day. It makes him want to scream.
Instead, he lets himself be held, comforted, warm in the arms of someone who he loves so desperately. ]
Don't let me go.
no subject
(He'll never let go and he lets Aki rest with him, both of them sitting on the ground in his dimly lit room. Wrapping his arms around him properly, he strokes Aki's back gently and rocks,)
In, out, in, out...
(Reminding Aki to breathe softly,)
As long as you live, I won't let you go. (And surely, if he's holding him now, Aki must be alive. At least, in this world.) No one else is here so do what you must.
Cry, scream, nothing at all...
no subject
He's afraid, he's so afraid.
Leaning in, the tears roll down his cheeks, and he sobs, broken and sad, crying until his voice is hoarse. Until his throat can barely keep words in motion, fingers gripping at his lover with all that he has.
Never letting go. They'll never let go.
As long as you live, Tsuru says, but isn't Aki already dead...? ]
no subject
Ah, what a heartwrenching cry and his heart aches and twists for him. While he's seen Aki miserable before, he's never heard him like this and it all makes him wonder...
Undoubtedly, he's been fated to carry a miserable and heavy burden, but how much has this man held back?)
Oh, Aki. Go ahead and cry.
(Contrasting with how desperately he holds onto him, how tightly he keeps him in his embrace, Tsurumaru only leans in gently, nuzzling his face against his, brushing his hair softly.)
no subject
Hasn't he been through enough?
Agonised, hurt, he grips at Tsurumaru until there's nothing left within him, until the only thing he can do is lean into his lover, holding on, quiet and so, so tired. ]
no subject
It's agonizingly long and he wishes so much that he could take it all away. If only he could make it better. If he could save him. When it finally goes silent, he lets the silence settle around them. He listens to shuddering, breaths and feels the way his body shakes in his embrace. When he begins to calm, he leans in and kisses the top of his forehead,)
Come here, love.
(Though he may be lean and seem delicate to all who see him, he's much stronger than he looks. He shifts and slowly, so slowly urges Aki to rise with him. )
Come rest. (And he'll gladly do the heavy lifting. He'll easily guide him over to his bed and set him down upon it,) Close your eyes and rest. No one else is here.
no subject
Each brush of his metal arm against his skin has him wincing, feeling uncomfortable and on edge, but it's not the kind of prosthetic he can just take off. It's stuck to him now, and it doesn't elude him just how close to a gun's metallic sheen it actually is.
Instead of saying anything about it, he sighs, reaching out to grip at Tsurumaru's clothing, to hold himself close. ]
I'll - please. Keep me safe. Just a little longer.
no subject
Why settle for a little when you can have all of my time?
(Running his fingers through his hair and rubbing his tired, heavy shoulders,)
You're safe with me. I'll protect you.
(Stroking, brushing, rubbing, caring,)
Go to sleep, go to sleep...