[ Time has lent itself to Aki becoming more and more accustomed to the strangeness that his partner brings to their relationship, and the magical rush of cherry blossoms is one of those things. He's tried to capture them enough times, press them between the pages of books to have them as little memories, but they disappear faster than he can keep them safe and sound.
It's almost disappointing.
Something warm spreads through his gut, a quiet, pleased happiness that settles inside of him and makes him laugh softly. He wants more of these moments, he wants more of these things, the brushes of Tsurumaru's spiritual energy, the tenderness, the way that it inspires something beautiful inside of him.
Leaning in, he kisses him gently, unable to resist. ]
You could be. You could be my spousal sword.
[ Smiling, his hand draws him closer, fingers stroking through his hair. ]
Do you want to...? In the future?
[ There's a hint of nervousness, now. ]
I know I won't live forever, I know... I won't be around long enough for it to be...
[ Worthwhile. He pauses, sudden grief flickering over his face. ]
(It's like one critical attack after the next. The way Aki says things so simply, so plainly, like everything is so easy and natural for him... it makes him crumble.
He could be, Aki says. If he wants to. Does he want to? He starts to nod and catches himself. Still in Aki's arms, he holds onto him in turn, as if he's bracing himself, using him to support himself.
He won't live forever. Tsurumaru knows that but the reminder makes him feel cold.)
Don't say that. (Don't talk about those things. Don't make him sad. He doesn't want to think about it. He doesn't need to be reminded.) You're here now.
(And that's enough. He could say more but he's at a loss for words. He feels like there are a million things welling up inside him but when it comes to speak, nothing comes out.
Shifting, he makes sure he straddles Aki, making sure he's sitting in front of him and takes a breath. Meeting his eyes, Aki can probably see the way something is turning in Tsurumaru's head. Gears are turning, something is working, and it's clear that he's still processing everything.)
You're a human. (Reaching to hold his face, tracing his thumb along his cheek, Tsurumaru whispers voice filled with quiet wonder,) Completely... totally... simply... really a human.
[ There’s no hesitation in Aki as he holds on to Tsurumaru, letting him adjust to clambering on his lap, getting comfortable. It’s natural now, a familiar shift of their bodies, one arm hooking around his waist and the other resting on his thigh, rubbing his fingers over the spot there gently.
They’ve done it before, maybe a dozen times. Each time it makes his heart just a little bit giddy, because somehow he has been chosen. He is the one being loved. Tsurumaru kisses him and touches him and wears his ring, and it’s painfully beautiful to think about.
He nods, and Aki can feel his cheeks getting heated, red and hot. He didn’t wake up with the intention of proposing, but it’s tumbled out of him all the same, a mixture of desperation and uncertainty that’s mingled with his adoration and warmth time and time again. He wants this.
Aki wants him. For the rest of his life.
Drawn back to the present, he tilts his head up. ]
What are you?
[ He pauses, considering for a long moment. ]
I know you’re a blade. I know you were for someone else, once, and that person will always be special. I know you have powers, and that you’re not just a human like I am. I know you’re special.
(When he holds him, he thinks how different it is. It isn't firm or heavy like one would normally carry a sword. Aki holds him gently but like he's precious but it's different from the other times Tsurumaru has been held. He's been handled carefully and delicately before. He is, after all, a treasured item. But no, Aki holds him sweetly, like he's not just some precious thing.
It's so comfortable here. He's been in this position before and it feels so natural. The way he settles on his lap, the way he wraps his arm around him, holds him... like he fits; like he doesn't belong just at his side but with all of him.)
Hold me.
(Keep holding him like this.)
Care for me.
(In more ways than just clove oil and fine paper and polishing cloths. With warm touches, with soft kisses, with heated moments, and with beautiful words. Not locked up in a case or put up on display but handled lovingly but outside and in private.)
Call me yours.
(Not his belonging. Not his property. Not just a sword. His lover. His heart. His heart feels full, his heart feels like it's flying. There's an ache that tugs at it and his vision begins to sparkle at the edges and his voice feels tight in his throat. He's certain that he's happy but he feels like he could cry.)
Even if I'm like this... (Not human. Foreign. Strange. Different. Something dangerous. Something else.) ... Can I be yours?
(His spousal sword. His sword. His spouse. His heart. His?)
[ It’s funny, almost, to say all these things and make all these promises without actually saying the words that are burning on his tongue, demanding to be said. It’s the adoration, the want, the warmth, all of it building and bubbling under the surface, making him yearn for something that’s right there in front of him. Aki has never been adept at this, never been good at it, but he wants to be.
He loves Tsurumaru. He wants to be good enough.
It’s almost too easy to give into him, because it feels perfectly natural. It feels right.
After everything they’ve done and been through together… This is what they’ve earned. ]
You’re mine. You’re my partner, Tsurumaru, you’re…
[ Breathless, filled with emotion, Aki leans close.
He doesn’t deserve this. He’s going to die. Tsurumaru will be left alone.
But he’ll have Denji. He’ll have memories. Maybe in the next life they can be together again. ]
I’ll be yours too. However you want me. I’ll stay with you.
He still doesn't know if it's possible. Humans and kami are different things. Some day, Aki will die and he'll have to carry that familiar weight of grief all over again. These warm, bright, exciting days will end and he'll inevitably return to a familiar, cold, dark, and quiet grave.
He still doesn't know if this is right. A lot of things could go wrong. But if they're like this. If they become like that.
Draping his arms around Aki, pulling himself up, leaning in.
He doesn't need to know everything. If he thinks about himself at the beginning of the year, there were plenty of things he didn't know. A thousand things he never considered. And each time, Aki had been patient, waited, explained, helped him understand.)
Yes. (They can figure this out too.) I want you.
You and all of your time.
(Vision blurry, chest rising and falling, heart pounding, he presses his mouth against Aki's. Slowly, sweetly, lovingly. He loves Aki. He loves him.
[ It doesn't need to be more than that, does it? It doesn't have to be anything except what they want it to be, anything expect the happiness and joy that comes with two people finding one another in the midst of everything. His joy and his warmth settles in him like something sweet, and he lifts his hands, metal and flesh, to cup Tsurumaru's cheek gently.
He's happy here. He's allowed to be happy here.
Leaning back, he smiles, only stopping to return the kiss, to let his arms wrap around the other man and hold him gently, fingers curling in his hair. ]
(Perfectly framed in his hands, he blinks away some of the moisture in his eyes and smiles at him; beautiful, radiating, and practically preening for Aki. He leans in, pushing him back against the pillows, and hums pleasantly as he runs his fingers through his hair. He keeps close. Even when Aki breaks away, he nuzzles against him. )
Husband...
(The word doesn't sound right or real to him but he sighs and tries again, )
My husband.
(It feels new and exciting to him and he shifts atop him, hugging him close and speaking sweetly,)
(... there's a series of beeps at the door, signaling security access being granted. Someone is about to come in and Tsurumaru immediately pulls back, slipping back to Aki's side while pulling the covers partially over them.
The door opens with a slide and in comes...
... A hummingbird drone, carrying a gift bag. It zips in and leaves the bag on the floor beside them and zips right back out, the door closing behind it as if nothing had happened.)
(Lying down, huddled next to Aki, he looks up from over the covers. Compared to his partner, Tsurumaru really just as to laugh as he cuddles closer. Teasing,)
(Turning his face to make it easier for him, he leans back and practically purrs as Aki teases him. Reaching up to wrap his arms around him, his hands coming to rest on the back of Aki's neck, he runs his fingers through his hair.)
Maybe I want to see you mad for me.
(And he turns to kiss him, nipping at him, teasing, trying to get a reaction,)
Crazy for me.
(Looking up at him with lidded eyes, smiling playfully, fingers twirling through his hair, tugging gently as he sighs,)
[ Moments of jealousy, of idle rage, of frustration and hurt - Aki had given it all to him. He had sunk into the feelings, pathetic and sour of him, despite - everything.
Leaning in, he kisses Tsurumaru's forehead, his cheek, his nose, laughing softly. ]
(He tries to keep up, tries to catch his kisses and laughs every time he fails. Heart pounding in his chest, face glowing to a light shade of pink, he shifts beneath him. He feels warm and if he had his ring on right now, Aki would feel his patience running out, his excitement growing, how much he wants him.
When he speaks again, he keeps his voice quiet and low, the way he always does when they're alone in their room. He won't let anyone else hear him. Right now, he's only for Aki.)
You aren't going to make me wait until our wedding, are you?
(He's teasing. He's joking. They share the same bed; they've made love so many times already; he's seen him shameless before; it would be silly to suddenly pretend to have modesty. )
Make me yours--
(And there's another beep at the door and Tsurumaru shoves Aki away again. He holds his breath as the hummingbirds make yet another delivery and he doesn't take another breath until they leave. When they're gone, he takes a deep breath and just lies there... looking completely dumbfounded.)
[ Aki is touching him, fingers stroking along the soft shape of his waist, his hip, sneaking up and above Tsurumaru's shirt - seeking out the heat of his body, the flush of him, the way that he wants to kiss him until his lips are numb and bruised, until they're as close as two people can be -
and then the door opens again, and his fingers drop away with a huff of noise, his eyes widening for a moment. ]
... That...
[ Twice? There's no way, surely?
Groaning, he leans in and puts his forehead on Tsurumaru's shoulder with a groan. ]
(Frozen from shock, he doesn't move a single muscle at first. Whereas before he'd been restless, responding to Aki, chasing all of his touches, and silently begging for more... now he's tense and almost afraid. This isn't fun. This is stressful and nothing kills the mod more than fear of being interrupted and walked in on.
Once he's absolutely certain the door is closed, he brings a hand to pat Aki on the head. Softly, almost nervously,)
(He lets out a breathy laugh, still shaken from what he thought was going to be a close encounter. He can't help but move himself again, rocking his hips as he braces his leg, bending at the knee next to Aki. He can't deny that the consecutive interruptions have killed his mood but he always wants to spoil Aki. He always wants to give him what he wants. He wants the same thing.)
Someone might see us.
(Speaking quietly, he tugs at Aki's shirt, pulling both of them closer,)
We might be surprised again.
(But it's hard to say no. This morning has been one of the most amazing days of his entire life and right now, he knows exactly how to make it even better for both of them.)
This is a bad idea.
(It's a quiet, half-hearted warning. How can he not want this too?)
[ Aki shakes his head as he leans up, dragging kisses against Tsurumaru's jaw, his neck, letting himself indulge. It's sweet, and gentle, and a perfect conclusion to the promises they've just made with one another, the knowledge that they want to stay together for as long as they can, a promise.
(It's hard not to want more when every touch makes him feel so warm. It fills his heart, it makes his chest feel full, and when Aki pulls away, he stays still. He can only look up at him, completely captivated. There's a warmth, there's a softness, and the edge of his mouth starts to turn into a smile.
He leans into the touch and turns his face to kiss his fingers. Wrapping his fingers around his and murmuring into his touch,)
I will always want you.
(He turns back to meet him, chasing another kiss to his mouth and keeping his voice low, quiet, perfectly calm but intimately honest,)
I want you all for myself. (Reaching up to touch Aki's face, fingers tracing his cheek, the line of his jaw, the shape of his mouth,) Especially now.
(And it's in his eyes. He means it. He wants him. He likes him. He loves him. He would give him everything he has. He doesn't want this to stop. The day has barely started and it's one of the best days in his long, miserable life.
"But." But he can't. But he's nervous. But he's sorry.)
Not now. Not when others can interrupt us... or see us. (And he watches Aki carefully, so he can study his reactions, see his response,) I don't want to share myself or you with anyone else.
[ Arms wrap around Tsurumaru - Aki's arms, drawing him closer, as gentle as he's ever been, stroking his fingers along the shape of his spine, the curve of his body, warm against Aki's exploring touch. He's careful with his prosthetic, as he always is, careful not to cause a chill at his touch, even as he nudges their noses together.
It's sweet. It's romantic. It's perfect.
Smiling, he draws Tsurumaru closer and holds onto him with all the gentleness that he has. ]
I don't want to be interrupted, either. Not when I can have you all to myself another time.
(He isn't sure why he's surprised. From the first move, Aki has proven what sort of man he is. Still, he finds himself surprised and taken all the same.
He gives himself easily, letting himself be held closely in his arms. A finger runs down his back and instantly, all of his tension and all of his excitement washes away with it. His entire body relaxes and he just melts in his arms because right now, he isn't being held like a sword. It's too careful, it's too gentle, it's too loving and good. He's being held like a lover and he leans against him, wrapping his arms around his shoulders. )
You're my favorite one.
(The one he enjoys the most. He traces lazy shapes against the back of his neck. Nuzzling against his neck, he breathes in, and lets out a content sigh.
Quietly, softly, the beginning just a breath of air against him,)
[ They keep finding reasons to surprise each other, to find happiness in one another, but...
But isn't that what it is, to be with someone?
Aki is unaccustomed to this, unfamiliar with it, with anything beyond the bonds of family. Even that was new, and tenuous, because it makes his heart ache to think too hard about it, of all the things he had lost. Finding comfort with Denji, with Power, and now with Tsurumaru...
He feels at peace, for the first time in many, many years.
Leaning in, his lips curl, kissing the corner of Tsurumaru's mouth, sweet and gentle. ]
You're mine, too.
[ Touching his face, he breathes out a soft noise. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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It's almost disappointing.
Something warm spreads through his gut, a quiet, pleased happiness that settles inside of him and makes him laugh softly. He wants more of these moments, he wants more of these things, the brushes of Tsurumaru's spiritual energy, the tenderness, the way that it inspires something beautiful inside of him.
Leaning in, he kisses him gently, unable to resist. ]
You could be. You could be my spousal sword.
[ Smiling, his hand draws him closer, fingers stroking through his hair. ]
Do you want to...? In the future?
[ There's a hint of nervousness, now. ]
I know I won't live forever, I know... I won't be around long enough for it to be...
[ Worthwhile. He pauses, sudden grief flickering over his face. ]
But it would be...
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He could be, Aki says. If he wants to. Does he want to? He starts to nod and catches himself. Still in Aki's arms, he holds onto him in turn, as if he's bracing himself, using him to support himself.
He won't live forever. Tsurumaru knows that but the reminder makes him feel cold.)
Don't say that. (Don't talk about those things. Don't make him sad. He doesn't want to think about it. He doesn't need to be reminded.) You're here now.
(And that's enough. He could say more but he's at a loss for words. He feels like there are a million things welling up inside him but when it comes to speak, nothing comes out.
Shifting, he makes sure he straddles Aki, making sure he's sitting in front of him and takes a breath. Meeting his eyes, Aki can probably see the way something is turning in Tsurumaru's head. Gears are turning, something is working, and it's clear that he's still processing everything.)
You're a human. (Reaching to hold his face, tracing his thumb along his cheek, Tsurumaru whispers voice filled with quiet wonder,) Completely... totally... simply... really a human.
... What am I for you?
(Human? A sword? A kami?)
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They’ve done it before, maybe a dozen times. Each time it makes his heart just a little bit giddy, because somehow he has been chosen. He is the one being loved. Tsurumaru kisses him and touches him and wears his ring, and it’s painfully beautiful to think about.
He nods, and Aki can feel his cheeks getting heated, red and hot. He didn’t wake up with the intention of proposing, but it’s tumbled out of him all the same, a mixture of desperation and uncertainty that’s mingled with his adoration and warmth time and time again. He wants this.
Aki wants him. For the rest of his life.
Drawn back to the present, he tilts his head up. ]
What are you?
[ He pauses, considering for a long moment. ]
I know you’re a blade. I know you were for someone else, once, and that person will always be special. I know you have powers, and that you’re not just a human like I am. I know you’re special.
[ But, well. Aki smiles. ]
For me? To me? You’re Tsuru. You’re my heart.
no subject
It's so comfortable here. He's been in this position before and it feels so natural. The way he settles on his lap, the way he wraps his arm around him, holds him... like he fits; like he doesn't belong just at his side but with all of him.)
Hold me.
(Keep holding him like this.)
Care for me.
(In more ways than just clove oil and fine paper and polishing cloths. With warm touches, with soft kisses, with heated moments, and with beautiful words. Not locked up in a case or put up on display but handled lovingly but outside and in private.)
Call me yours.
(Not his belonging. Not his property. Not just a sword. His lover. His heart. His heart feels full, his heart feels like it's flying. There's an ache that tugs at it and his vision begins to sparkle at the edges and his voice feels tight in his throat. He's certain that he's happy but he feels like he could cry.)
Even if I'm like this... (Not human. Foreign. Strange. Different. Something dangerous. Something else.) ... Can I be yours?
(His spousal sword. His sword. His spouse. His heart. His?)
no subject
He loves Tsurumaru. He wants to be good enough.
It’s almost too easy to give into him, because it feels perfectly natural. It feels right.
After everything they’ve done and been through together… This is what they’ve earned. ]
You’re mine. You’re my partner, Tsurumaru, you’re…
[ Breathless, filled with emotion, Aki leans close.
He doesn’t deserve this. He’s going to die. Tsurumaru will be left alone.
But he’ll have Denji. He’ll have memories. Maybe in the next life they can be together again. ]
I’ll be yours too. However you want me. I’ll stay with you.
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He still doesn't know if it's possible. Humans and kami are different things. Some day, Aki will die and he'll have to carry that familiar weight of grief all over again. These warm, bright, exciting days will end and he'll inevitably return to a familiar, cold, dark, and quiet grave.
He still doesn't know if this is right. A lot of things could go wrong. But if they're like this. If they become like that.
Draping his arms around Aki, pulling himself up, leaning in.
He doesn't need to know everything. If he thinks about himself at the beginning of the year, there were plenty of things he didn't know. A thousand things he never considered. And each time, Aki had been patient, waited, explained, helped him understand.)
Yes. (They can figure this out too.) I want you.
You and all of your time.
(Vision blurry, chest rising and falling, heart pounding, he presses his mouth against Aki's. Slowly, sweetly, lovingly. He loves Aki. He loves him.
Yes, yes, yes.)
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[ It doesn't need to be more than that, does it? It doesn't have to be anything except what they want it to be, anything expect the happiness and joy that comes with two people finding one another in the midst of everything. His joy and his warmth settles in him like something sweet, and he lifts his hands, metal and flesh, to cup Tsurumaru's cheek gently.
He's happy here. He's allowed to be happy here.
Leaning back, he smiles, only stopping to return the kiss, to let his arms wrap around the other man and hold him gently, fingers curling in his hair. ]
I think...
[ Breathless, quiet against his mouth. ]
I think I would like being your husband.
1/2
Husband...
(The word doesn't sound right or real to him but he sighs and tries again, )
My husband.
(It feels new and exciting to him and he shifts atop him, hugging him close and speaking sweetly,)
I think I would like it, too.
(Leaning in for another kiss... )
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The door opens with a slide and in comes...
... A hummingbird drone, carrying a gift bag. It zips in and leaves the bag on the floor beside them and zips right back out, the door closing behind it as if nothing had happened.)
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Frowning, he gazes at the door, the drone, the gift, before he flops back in the bed and groans softly. ]
I forgot how popular you are.
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Are you jealous?
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[ Aki hums, leaning down to kiss his cheek, his jaw, close to his mouth. ]
You said you'd be my husband.
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Maybe I want to see you mad for me.
(And he turns to kiss him, nipping at him, teasing, trying to get a reaction,)
Crazy for me.
(Looking up at him with lidded eyes, smiling playfully, fingers twirling through his hair, tugging gently as he sighs,)
Aki.
(Dearest Aki.)
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[ Moments of jealousy, of idle rage, of frustration and hurt - Aki had given it all to him. He had sunk into the feelings, pathetic and sour of him, despite - everything.
Leaning in, he kisses Tsurumaru's forehead, his cheek, his nose, laughing softly. ]
It's just for you.
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(He tries to keep up, tries to catch his kisses and laughs every time he fails. Heart pounding in his chest, face glowing to a light shade of pink, he shifts beneath him. He feels warm and if he had his ring on right now, Aki would feel his patience running out, his excitement growing, how much he wants him.
When he speaks again, he keeps his voice quiet and low, the way he always does when they're alone in their room. He won't let anyone else hear him. Right now, he's only for Aki.)
You aren't going to make me wait until our wedding, are you?
(He's teasing. He's joking. They share the same bed; they've made love so many times already; he's seen him shameless before; it would be silly to suddenly pretend to have modesty. )
Make me yours--
(And there's another beep at the door and Tsurumaru shoves Aki away again. He holds his breath as the hummingbirds make yet another delivery and he doesn't take another breath until they leave. When they're gone, he takes a deep breath and just lies there... looking completely dumbfounded.)
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[ Aki is touching him, fingers stroking along the soft shape of his waist, his hip, sneaking up and above Tsurumaru's shirt - seeking out the heat of his body, the flush of him, the way that he wants to kiss him until his lips are numb and bruised, until they're as close as two people can be -
and then the door opens again, and his fingers drop away with a huff of noise, his eyes widening for a moment. ]
... That...
[ Twice? There's no way, surely?
Groaning, he leans in and puts his forehead on Tsurumaru's shoulder with a groan. ]
Nn.
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Once he's absolutely certain the door is closed, he brings a hand to pat Aki on the head. Softly, almost nervously,)
... Maybe we should wait after all.
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Waiting seems like a good idea.
[ Nuzzling into his neck, he sighs. ]
But I want to.
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Someone might see us.
(Speaking quietly, he tugs at Aki's shirt, pulling both of them closer,)
We might be surprised again.
(But it's hard to say no. This morning has been one of the most amazing days of his entire life and right now, he knows exactly how to make it even better for both of them.)
This is a bad idea.
(It's a quiet, half-hearted warning. How can he not want this too?)
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Breathing out, he cups Tsurumaru's face gently. ]
Do you want to stop?
[ A soft kiss against his mouth. ]
We can stop, if you're worried...
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He leans into the touch and turns his face to kiss his fingers. Wrapping his fingers around his and murmuring into his touch,)
I will always want you.
(He turns back to meet him, chasing another kiss to his mouth and keeping his voice low, quiet, perfectly calm but intimately honest,)
I want you all for myself. (Reaching up to touch Aki's face, fingers tracing his cheek, the line of his jaw, the shape of his mouth,) Especially now.
(And it's in his eyes. He means it. He wants him. He likes him. He loves him. He would give him everything he has. He doesn't want this to stop. The day has barely started and it's one of the best days in his long, miserable life.
"But." But he can't. But he's nervous. But he's sorry.)
Not now. Not when others can interrupt us... or see us. (And he watches Aki carefully, so he can study his reactions, see his response,) I don't want to share myself or you with anyone else.
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[ Arms wrap around Tsurumaru - Aki's arms, drawing him closer, as gentle as he's ever been, stroking his fingers along the shape of his spine, the curve of his body, warm against Aki's exploring touch. He's careful with his prosthetic, as he always is, careful not to cause a chill at his touch, even as he nudges their noses together.
It's sweet. It's romantic. It's perfect.
Smiling, he draws Tsurumaru closer and holds onto him with all the gentleness that he has. ]
I don't want to be interrupted, either. Not when I can have you all to myself another time.
[ Another soft kiss. ]
Let's just enjoy the gifts while they come.
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He gives himself easily, letting himself be held closely in his arms. A finger runs down his back and instantly, all of his tension and all of his excitement washes away with it. His entire body relaxes and he just melts in his arms because right now, he isn't being held like a sword. It's too careful, it's too gentle, it's too loving and good. He's being held like a lover and he leans against him, wrapping his arms around his shoulders. )
You're my favorite one.
(The one he enjoys the most. He traces lazy shapes against the back of his neck. Nuzzling against his neck, he breathes in, and lets out a content sigh.
Quietly, softly, the beginning just a breath of air against him,)
... love you.
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But isn't that what it is, to be with someone?
Aki is unaccustomed to this, unfamiliar with it, with anything beyond the bonds of family. Even that was new, and tenuous, because it makes his heart ache to think too hard about it, of all the things he had lost. Finding comfort with Denji, with Power, and now with Tsurumaru...
He feels at peace, for the first time in many, many years.
Leaning in, his lips curl, kissing the corner of Tsurumaru's mouth, sweet and gentle. ]
You're mine, too.
[ Touching his face, he breathes out a soft noise. ]
... Me too.