It's delicious, seeing a man fall apart for him. It's heady, watching as his words sink in, watching as the man in front of him reacts.
It's too good. He doesn't know what to do with himself. Aki doesn't know what to think other than this, and he breathes out.
It's perfect. This is perfect, Tsurumaru is perfect, and his expression is dark and intense as he licks his lips. ]
Tsuru...
[ Leaning in, Aki nuzzles at his hips, pressing idle kisses to the skin as he tugs the trousers down, to let them slide. His body moves with them, slipping off the bed to drop to his knees, unconcerned about kneeling in worship at the shrine, the mantle of this man.
Aki likes him. Aki likes him so much.
At least this is something more familiar, more recognisable than the confusion of his own feelings, because the way that two bodies work together is an intimate knowledge for him. He has been with people before, enough that he has the skill to back up the promises that he's making - as if Tsuru might disbelieve him. As if he would question what Aki offered.
Cheeks warm, flushed, body flooded with anticipation and desire, a burning need that thrums through him, Aki presses a kiss to Tsurumaru's thigh, his other hand stroking up against the soft, soft skin. His thumb presses into the skin there, even as his mouth moves higher and higher, teasing, tempting.
It's good. Tsurumaru is so good.
His hand finally wraps around Tsurumaru's cock, thumb pressing into the tip of him gently, even as he hums a pleased noise. Fingers move up and down, a tease before his mouth gets involved, dark eyes watching Tsurumaru's face before he breathes out a soft noise. ]
You are beautiful. Tsuru... My -
[ He stops himself. My Tsuru. But it's not - it's - hm.
He shakes his head, focusing, pressing a kiss where cock meets hip, desperate for the hot, heat of him.
I have you, he thinks, I have you, beautiful and perfect and hot, stunning, cock like tempered steel, an irony he can't ignore.
A little more teasing, he thinks, a little more nudging and pushing forward, and then perhaps he'll give in to his own desperate desires. ]
Everything suddenly feels so sensitive. More than it should. More than he'd ever expect. He's stripped down to nothing but it feels like nothing compared to how exposed he feels from his words. He holds his face, covering his mouth and bites on his knuckle. He lets out a shuddered breath and every part of him tenses with anticipation.
He has Aki down on his knees below him and... it's like he'd said. It's what he said he wanted. He starts to whisper but what comes out instead is a soft whine. Sensitive. He's so, so sensitive and he feels so hard already. He's barely even been touched and he feels like he's on fire.
Because of him, he thinks through the haze and he pulls his hand away from his face to twist fingers into the sheets, to brace himself when he already feels like he could become so completely undone. No, he already is.
Beautiful. He thinks he's beautiful? Like this? Undone and going mad, weak and so vulnerable. Before he can process anymore, he mewls, soft and needy, shifting to chase more of this feeling and then lets out another whine, louder, desperate, )
Teasing me... (He's being teased and it's maddening and he manages to flash an audacious smile at him, ) You have a lot of nerve...!
(And he laughs breathily. He can't keep up his act.)
Keep going. (And his cock twitches. It feels good to give commands, especially when he knows he can be rewarded. Raising a hand, he stretches to just barely brush Aki's cheek, down his jawline, ) I know what you can do with that mouth of yours.
(He's felt it plenty by now.
And there it is in his eyes. Shining brightly in the dimly lit room, burning like a gold flame, pupils constricted into narrow slits, his true nature revealing itself just for him.)
Aki wants this. Of course, he wants this. He wants to show Tsurumaru how he feels, wants to show his affection through action when words are not enough, his entire body filled with a yearning he cannot combat. It makes his heart feel too warm, too heavy, and his eyes flicker over Tsuru's face, devouring him, memorising how he looks like this, surrendering to pleasure.
It's good, to use his hands for pleasure, for something blissful rather than death, and blood, and horror.
Settling on his knees, prim and proper, Aki lets his eyes drag over Tsurumaru again before he hums. He turns his head, to get those fingers into his hair - because he doesn't mind if it's pulled, tugged, twisted, if he's used and left wanting and wailing.
He does not mind.
He wants it.
Nuzzling into Tsurumaru's hip again, he hums softly. ]
Whatever you want, Tsuru. Anything you need.
[ Shifting, pushing himself up, one arm stretched over his waist, Aki finally gives in to the urge.
Keep touching him, he thinks. Keep teasing him. Keep commanding him. He wants, and he wants, and he wants, a burning inferno. He licks his lips, hesitant, careful, before he presses a soft kiss again to the side of Tsurumaru's cock, eyes closing briefly.
It's nice. It feels good. He likes this, he likes to touch, to... Give.
To worship.
Finally, he leans down and wraps his lips around Tsurumaru's cock, tongue pressed against the steady weight of him, eyes closing as he loses himself to it.
For now, he sets no pace, does nothing more than enjoy this, letting Tsuru do as he wants. He can handle it, he can take it all, no matter what. ]
(Fingers stroke and tangle in his hair, twisting gently but firmly, finger nails just lightly but deliberately scratching his scalp. There's restraint, there's care, but something more can also come. Shifting, spreading his legs a little more to give access, he looks down on him with heat in his eye.
Beautiful. Handsome. Perfect. Devoted. So full of love. A lover. What a human concept. What a human experience.
And he gasps, just barely keeping his voice down when he feels his warmth around him. He recognizes this feeling but he doesn't. It's the same mouth he's felt against his but different. Hips instinctively shift forward from the sensation but when he's so hard and sensitive even the slightest movement is enough to throw him off. He moans, gripping Aki's hair, the first desperate twist and he flushes,)
Aki.
(He has to resettle, spreading his legs a little more, sliding up and back again as he readies himself. He feels like he's moving too much but maybe it's just because he also feels too much, )
Sorry. I just... (He tries to recollect his words,) you just... feel good. Better.
[ The words ring in his ears and Aki thinks to himself that the sound of someone’s pleasure has never been so delicious.
He’s never had such want, such need before now; he’s never felt so desperately overcome by the urge to make someone else feel good. His singular focus on vengeance and his mission, then the twist of it to happiness and a focus on Denji-and-Power-and-Home hadn’t left space for more than that. It hadn’t left the freedom in Aki’s heart to want more.
Aki is going to die. It’s inevitable. The fragility of humanity, the cost of contract and strength, but… But.
He will die with happiness inside him now.
The motion of mouth over cock is familiar enough to him that he knows what to do, guiding on instinct, following the sounds Tsurumaru makes as he sinks lower. The twist and pull in his hair has him moaning, a faint vibration as his eyes slip, lidded with pleasure.
He enjoys this. It’s not just for the pleasure Tsuru can claim; Aki likes this. Being on his knees, hearing words, commands, being told what to do -
Squeezing his eyes shut, he presses lower and he loses himself to the feeling of it, breathing through his nose and rioting in bliss. ]
(Tighter. He pulls at Aki's hair, holding onto him like he's support. He isn't sure why he's surprised considering other reactions so far but the low tremor engulfing him is just too good. The one-two punch of the vibration followed by the way Aki goes down on him makes him cry out, voice breaking, cutting through the quiet in the room. Immediately, he closes his mouth, reduced to just a whine as he begins to leak.
He looks down at the one behind it all and his heart flutters. He tugs at Aki, a nudge to look up at him, to give him his attention, and he groans,)
You too. Touch yourself too.
(Inhaling slowly through his nose as he keeps his voice steady,)
I want to come with you.
(Even if it's maddening, even if he has to hold back, he wants to share bliss with him.)
[ It feels good, to be the subject of such lack of restraint, for the desire to be so obvious; Tsurumaru pulls and Aki goes with it, letting the tug on his scalp cause a twinge of delicious pain. It's good, and he burns with it, with the want for more, more, more...
Eyes flick up, searching, seeking, and Aki breathes out sharply through his nose.
Tsurumaru is... He's...
Nodding as best he can, mouth so occupied, Aki adjusts his weight and shifts to open his legs. It's a touch difficult to split his focus like this, to reach down between his legs and wrap a hand around his own cock, but it comes with a muffled groan around Tsurumaru as he does.
To come together... To share that... Perfectly imperfect. He wants it too.
Redoubling himself, he twists his hand over the solid weight between his own legs as he focuses on Tsuru, wanting to feel him, taste him, share in it completely. ]
(Again, he mewls and again, he tries to show restraint. A heat builds up in his center and he tries to still himself, keep himself from thrusting, from tumbling towards the finish before Aki. He wills himself to hold off, to suppress himself until Aki can catch up.
But it's hard. It's so hard. His chest rises and falls with each careful breath and he has to do something. He has to let something out or else he'll explode. So he cries out,)
Aki... Aki!
(None of his cool, none of his posturing, just pure desire and fervor. He's close. So close and his fingers slip, giving some relief as he speaks,)
You don't ha- (ah) have to swallow. This is e-enough. This is--!
(He can barely finish before a tremble runs through him. He feels so aware of everything. His mouth on his cock, his tongue against it, every nerve in his own body, a ringing in his ears that makes it so impossible to think. He has to brace himself with his other hand on the bed and even then, he feels like he might give way at any moment and he looks down at Aki, gold eyes bright and wet and searching madly for a sign.
Not without him. He won't come without him and the moment he has his sign. The moment he doesn't have to hold back anymore, he'll release.)
[ He can't resist the urge to tease, leaning back to drink in air through his mouth, to lick his lips as he gazes up at Tsurumaru, eyes dark and cheeks flushed. It's a hot red, so different from the familiar stain of blood on his skin that's more customary for him.
Pleasure is softer, healthier, happier than pain.
Watching Tsurumaru take his pleasure, Aki's lips curl into a small, pleased little smile. ]
What if I want to? I want all of you, I said, didn't I?
[ Nothing cool, nothing suave, just pleasure and bliss, and he lets himself go back, watching, the flush on Tsurumaru's cheeks, the sound of him breathing, the way that Aki wants more and more and more of him, wondering how it might feel to touch and be touched, to press in and take, to give, to share everything that he has.
His fingers move faster over himself, jerking harder, hips pressing into his own touch as he gives himself over to it, and it's close, it's so close, but he wants the taste, the feeling, and he moans around Tsurumaru's cock in his mouth as he basks in the sheer pleasure of it. ]
(It's a second of relief followed by what he's convinced must be misery. Just when he thinks he can catch his breath, he's left still hard and aching and it's maddening. He rocks his hips, trying to chase relief only Aki can give him.
He looks down at Aki. This audacious man below him and--
Caught off guard, eyes wide with surprise, face bright red, his ears burning with heat, he hisses. He'll knock that smile off Aki's face, he starts to think only to find himself at his mercy again. Is he really going to do this? He feels how Aki works him, pushing him closer and closer to the point of no return. He can hear Aki working himself and he knows he's close. He wants this. They both want this and he bucks forward, forcing Aki to take him more, and he cries. His voice loud, clear, and reverberating off the walls. It's the loudest he's ever been for him.
All he feels is pure, dizzying relief as he finally reaches peak. His cock twitches as he comes. Leaning forward, curling into himself, he grabs Aki desperately for support, roughly yanking at his hair. A muffled whine spills from his lips as his hold immediately loosens. Spent, blissed, and so utterly undone.)
[ Aki's hand on himself is a little too much friction, not quite perfect enough, but it's good, twinned with Tsurumaru's pleasure and the way his hips move, little jerks of his body, the way that he can hear the breathless sounds that he makes. Even his hips thrusting up to buck against Aki's mouth doesn't stop him, even if it means he has to lean back a little and readjust.
It's pleasure, pure and relieving, exactly what he's wanted after days and weeks of uncertainty, because right now Aki is so, completely, devastatingly owned by this man that he doesn't know what to do with himself.
Instead, he groans as Tsurumaru comes, pulling at his hair, squeezing at him, and he presses his thumb against himself, curls his hand, jerks as he swallows, and soon he's staining his own fingers with his pleasure, shivering as he draws his mouth back and rests his forehead on Tsurumaru's thigh, breathing in and out.
Perfect. So perfect.
Messy, dizzying, delicious, overwhelming in a thousand little ways. Good. ]
Tsuru...
[ The idea of standing is impossible, legs wobbly, so Aki slumps into the bed. ]
(He lets Aki go, sets him free so he can pull himself off. Tiredly, he leans forward, curling around Aki and kisses the top of his head and begins the slow, difficult act of helping him climb into bed with him. He wills himself to wrap his arms around him and support him. Or maybe it's just an excuse to put his hands on him because when he fumbles, he lingers, when he leans in, he sighs, and he hums in response,)
Aki.
(Come into his arms. He wants to hold him. Take care of him though whatever he could do now wouldn't compare to what Aki's just done,)
Amazing, so amazing. (He can barely string a sentence together and when he does, his words are rushed and breathy,) Come here. I want you.
[ Thankfully, the towel from his hair is nearby, so Aki can clean his hand off before he's tugged into bed beside Tsurumaru; it means he's comfortable as he settles in close, curling around him and nuzzling close. Sorry, room service, for your life.
Aki doesn't kiss him, just in case, but he leans in and kisses his jaw, his neck, pressing soft reminders of his affection against his skin, arms wrapping around the lean frame of the man beside him and tugging him closer. It's almost too easy to settle in and fill the void of space in the bed, and the smile on his face isn't faltering for even a moment. ]
I want you, too. I've wanted you for weeks.
[ He's been filled with longing. Sorry, Tsurumaru. ]
(He preens for him, raising his face, turning his neck, giving Aki free and total access to his body. It would be so easy to indulge, to just take and bask in it all. Sighing and humming with each touch, he still hasn't come down from his high.
He's still riding it when he rolls in his hold so he can be on top of him. Swaying as he rises, straddling him and looking down to see all of him now that he has him. Like this, Aki can also see him. Everything. The entirety of his frame, lean muscle, the graceful curve of his waist, the warm flush of his cheeks, and eyes still bright and constricted. A version of Tsurumaru Kuninaga that only wants to show off, who only wants to be the best, who only wants to be loved.
He teases,)
Poor Aki.
(He places the palm of his hand on Aki's center, hands splayed and tracing muscle, exploring every line, slowly. He's deliberate as he moves up to his chest, around and then across his nipple, to his collar... and all the while he leans in closer and closer until he's flat on top of him and his face is buried in the crook of his neck and shoulder, nuzzling against him.)
My poor, wonderful Aki.
(And he begins to pepper him with dizzied kisses. He'd said it. Aki is his. His, his, his, he thinks hazily. His kisses slow as he begins to settle, as the rush runs its course,)
I'm sorry... (Pressing his mouth against his neck, murmuring, ) ... For making you wait...
(And suddenly, there's teeth, nipping lightly at first,)
Thank you. (For waiting. For being so good. For taking such care of him. For putting up with him.) Thank you.
(Harder. Because he knows how he feels about him. Because he knows what cigarettes he likes. Because he knows what spot he likes. Because he knows he'll like it.
Teeth on skin, biting, the weight of Tsurumaru pushing him down into the bed, soft skin and warm caress blindsided by the piecing pain of teeth - it makes him burn, it makes him want, fire igniting inside of him again, and if he had any measure of strength inside him he’d be hard again, ready for Tsurumaru to do as he pleases, ready for him to give or take, it didn’t even matter.
Closing his eyes and tilting his head back, he breathes out as he listens to each and every single word, basking in the sheer and utter pleasure of it, the way that he feels as if he’s come to life, something breathed into him from the sheer passion of the moment, an explosion of feelings.
His Aki, Tsurumaru says, and Aki moans with it, delight at being possessed, at being claimed, belonging. His Aki, and his Tsuru, wrapped up together with pleasure and desire, his heart beating too loud in his chest. He didn’t think he could have feelings like this any more. He didn’t think he could have happiness like this any more.
Aki didn’t think he could stumble so close to love, like and desire mixing together to create something new and exciting, wonderful and frightening.
Tilting his head back, giving Tsurumaru room and space, he groans, fingers stroking over his legs, his hips, any soft skin he can reach. He just wants to touch, to anchor himself, victim to every piece of joy that Tsurumaru is offering him. ]
Tsuru… Tsuru…
[ Moaning his name, claiming it, ambrosia on his tongue. ]
(Humming, shivering with each touch, further emboldened to keep going. He buries his face into his neck, breathing in, taking in his scent and feels his name sung sweetly from his throat. Beautiful, like music to his ears and he bites again, sharp but careful as he breaks skin and hums.
Relaxing his jaw, breaking free, kissing a mark he doesn't really see in his haze, and... he settles. All of his weight collapses on top of Aki, slipping next to him, he curls next to him, nestling against him.)
[ Arms lift, wrapping around Tsurumaru, holding him close, curling into him before his eyes close. Fingers brush down along the boney feeling of his spine under his touch.
He's happy. Aki is happy.
Turning his head, he tugs Tsuru against his body, eyes closing. ]
(Properly spent, he moves bonelessly when he tugs him. Letting out a content sigh, he reaches one arm over and across him, hanging close,)
Of course. (Softly, contently,) I'm alive.
(Not just a sword. Not just cold steel. He's alive. Flesh and blood.)
You are, too.
(Warm and alive.)
Don't forget to tell me... if they're better.
(The cigarettes. But from the way his voice trails off lazily, growing quieter... he might not be awake. He's comfortable here. It's warm and feels safe and good and he feels like he can... rest.)
(Completely still save for the steady rise and fall of his chest, one might think he's already fallen asleep but after a second, he shifts ever so slightly, craning his neck up to look at Aki through his bangs and lashes. Sometime between the high of it all and the final crash, he's returned to normal, eyes normal, expression one of pure contentedness.
[ Tsurumaru really is beautiful, isn't he? A pretty man, handsome and soft looking, but filled with so much strength, and warmth, and more. Aki is sated, can feel the burn of the bite to his skin, and he thinks... he could take more, if he wanted, right now.
He doesn't. But he could. ]
I'll start it, then.
[ Lighting the cigarette is easy, and Aki brings it to his mouth, takes a long draw - bliss, his proper brand, feeling good - before he lets the smoke drift out from his lips, holding it out to Tsurumaru. ]
(Watching Aki curiously, observing his every move as he lights the cigarette, takes a breath, and sees the way his shoulders relax, the calm sweeps over and he feels proud of himself.
It's nice to see his gift appreciated. It's good to know that he did well.
And when he offers, he looks at the cigarette, at Aki, and back at the cigarette. Lifting himself up just enough to meet him, he leans in and takes a drag. Eyes closed, inhaling slowly. He recognizes this taste. He's tasted and smelled it on Aki plenty of times before but this is stronger. He doesn't dislike it but it's a different experience from using a kiseru pipe which is what he's more accustomed to. Maybe that's why he doesn't take as much as Aki.
When he's finished, he holds his breath and slips off. Tilting his face up to look up at him, he exhales slowly, letting the smoke spill.)
Watching Tsurumaru draw in from the cigarette, breathe it out, the smell of smoke, painfully familiar... It reminds him of home, and people that are lost, but he's not filled with the same agonising pain as before. He'd considered giving up, back home, wanting to try and live a little longer, as if this was the real risk.
He picked it back up with the stresses of kaiju.
Leaning in, he nudges their noses together, presses a kiss against Tsurumaru's mouth. ]
(Nuzzling against him, opening his mouth to kiss him gently, sweetly, a little messily in his hazy state. He hums in affirmation, slipping into the feeling again. There it is, that taste he remembers,)
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
devours him
It's delicious, seeing a man fall apart for him. It's heady, watching as his words sink in, watching as the man in front of him reacts.
It's too good. He doesn't know what to do with himself. Aki doesn't know what to think other than this, and he breathes out.
It's perfect. This is perfect, Tsurumaru is perfect, and his expression is dark and intense as he licks his lips. ]
Tsuru...
[ Leaning in, Aki nuzzles at his hips, pressing idle kisses to the skin as he tugs the trousers down, to let them slide. His body moves with them, slipping off the bed to drop to his knees, unconcerned about kneeling in worship at the shrine, the mantle of this man.
Aki likes him. Aki likes him so much.
At least this is something more familiar, more recognisable than the confusion of his own feelings, because the way that two bodies work together is an intimate knowledge for him. He has been with people before, enough that he has the skill to back up the promises that he's making - as if Tsuru might disbelieve him. As if he would question what Aki offered.
Cheeks warm, flushed, body flooded with anticipation and desire, a burning need that thrums through him, Aki presses a kiss to Tsurumaru's thigh, his other hand stroking up against the soft, soft skin. His thumb presses into the skin there, even as his mouth moves higher and higher, teasing, tempting.
It's good. Tsurumaru is so good.
His hand finally wraps around Tsurumaru's cock, thumb pressing into the tip of him gently, even as he hums a pleased noise. Fingers move up and down, a tease before his mouth gets involved, dark eyes watching Tsurumaru's face before he breathes out a soft noise. ]
You are beautiful. Tsuru... My -
[ He stops himself. My Tsuru. But it's not - it's - hm.
He shakes his head, focusing, pressing a kiss where cock meets hip, desperate for the hot, heat of him.
I have you, he thinks, I have you, beautiful and perfect and hot, stunning, cock like tempered steel, an irony he can't ignore.
A little more teasing, he thinks, a little more nudging and pushing forward, and then perhaps he'll give in to his own desperate desires. ]
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Everything suddenly feels so sensitive. More than it should. More than he'd ever expect. He's stripped down to nothing but it feels like nothing compared to how exposed he feels from his words. He holds his face, covering his mouth and bites on his knuckle. He lets out a shuddered breath and every part of him tenses with anticipation.
He has Aki down on his knees below him and... it's like he'd said. It's what he said he wanted. He starts to whisper but what comes out instead is a soft whine. Sensitive. He's so, so sensitive and he feels so hard already. He's barely even been touched and he feels like he's on fire.
Because of him, he thinks through the haze and he pulls his hand away from his face to twist fingers into the sheets, to brace himself when he already feels like he could become so completely undone. No, he already is.
Beautiful. He thinks he's beautiful? Like this? Undone and going mad, weak and so vulnerable. Before he can process anymore, he mewls, soft and needy, shifting to chase more of this feeling and then lets out another whine, louder, desperate, )
Teasing me... (He's being teased and it's maddening and he manages to flash an audacious smile at him, ) You have a lot of nerve...!
(And he laughs breathily. He can't keep up his act.)
Keep going. (And his cock twitches. It feels good to give commands, especially when he knows he can be rewarded. Raising a hand, he stretches to just barely brush Aki's cheek, down his jawline, ) I know what you can do with that mouth of yours.
(He's felt it plenty by now.
And there it is in his eyes. Shining brightly in the dimly lit room, burning like a gold flame, pupils constricted into narrow slits, his true nature revealing itself just for him.)
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Aki wants this. Of course, he wants this. He wants to show Tsurumaru how he feels, wants to show his affection through action when words are not enough, his entire body filled with a yearning he cannot combat. It makes his heart feel too warm, too heavy, and his eyes flicker over Tsuru's face, devouring him, memorising how he looks like this, surrendering to pleasure.
It's good, to use his hands for pleasure, for something blissful rather than death, and blood, and horror.
Settling on his knees, prim and proper, Aki lets his eyes drag over Tsurumaru again before he hums. He turns his head, to get those fingers into his hair - because he doesn't mind if it's pulled, tugged, twisted, if he's used and left wanting and wailing.
He does not mind.
He wants it.
Nuzzling into Tsurumaru's hip again, he hums softly. ]
Whatever you want, Tsuru. Anything you need.
[ Shifting, pushing himself up, one arm stretched over his waist, Aki finally gives in to the urge.
Keep touching him, he thinks. Keep teasing him. Keep commanding him. He wants, and he wants, and he wants, a burning inferno. He licks his lips, hesitant, careful, before he presses a soft kiss again to the side of Tsurumaru's cock, eyes closing briefly.
It's nice. It feels good. He likes this, he likes to touch, to... Give.
To worship.
Finally, he leans down and wraps his lips around Tsurumaru's cock, tongue pressed against the steady weight of him, eyes closing as he loses himself to it.
For now, he sets no pace, does nothing more than enjoy this, letting Tsuru do as he wants. He can handle it, he can take it all, no matter what. ]
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Beautiful. Handsome. Perfect. Devoted. So full of love. A lover. What a human concept. What a human experience.
And he gasps, just barely keeping his voice down when he feels his warmth around him. He recognizes this feeling but he doesn't. It's the same mouth he's felt against his but different. Hips instinctively shift forward from the sensation but when he's so hard and sensitive even the slightest movement is enough to throw him off. He moans, gripping Aki's hair, the first desperate twist and he flushes,)
Aki.
(He has to resettle, spreading his legs a little more, sliding up and back again as he readies himself. He feels like he's moving too much but maybe it's just because he also feels too much, )
Sorry. I just... (He tries to recollect his words,) you just... feel good. Better.
(Use his words,)
Keep going.
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He’s never had such want, such need before now; he’s never felt so desperately overcome by the urge to make someone else feel good. His singular focus on vengeance and his mission, then the twist of it to happiness and a focus on Denji-and-Power-and-Home hadn’t left space for more than that. It hadn’t left the freedom in Aki’s heart to want more.
Aki is going to die. It’s inevitable. The fragility of humanity, the cost of contract and strength, but… But.
He will die with happiness inside him now.
The motion of mouth over cock is familiar enough to him that he knows what to do, guiding on instinct, following the sounds Tsurumaru makes as he sinks lower. The twist and pull in his hair has him moaning, a faint vibration as his eyes slip, lidded with pleasure.
He enjoys this. It’s not just for the pleasure Tsuru can claim; Aki likes this. Being on his knees, hearing words, commands, being told what to do -
Squeezing his eyes shut, he presses lower and he loses himself to the feeling of it, breathing through his nose and rioting in bliss. ]
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He looks down at the one behind it all and his heart flutters. He tugs at Aki, a nudge to look up at him, to give him his attention, and he groans,)
You too. Touch yourself too.
(Inhaling slowly through his nose as he keeps his voice steady,)
I want to come with you.
(Even if it's maddening, even if he has to hold back, he wants to share bliss with him.)
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Eyes flick up, searching, seeking, and Aki breathes out sharply through his nose.
Tsurumaru is... He's...
Nodding as best he can, mouth so occupied, Aki adjusts his weight and shifts to open his legs. It's a touch difficult to split his focus like this, to reach down between his legs and wrap a hand around his own cock, but it comes with a muffled groan around Tsurumaru as he does.
To come together... To share that... Perfectly imperfect. He wants it too.
Redoubling himself, he twists his hand over the solid weight between his own legs as he focuses on Tsuru, wanting to feel him, taste him, share in it completely. ]
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But it's hard. It's so hard. His chest rises and falls with each careful breath and he has to do something. He has to let something out or else he'll explode. So he cries out,)
Aki... Aki!
(None of his cool, none of his posturing, just pure desire and fervor. He's close. So close and his fingers slip, giving some relief as he speaks,)
You don't ha- (ah) have to swallow. This is e-enough. This is--!
(He can barely finish before a tremble runs through him. He feels so aware of everything. His mouth on his cock, his tongue against it, every nerve in his own body, a ringing in his ears that makes it so impossible to think. He has to brace himself with his other hand on the bed and even then, he feels like he might give way at any moment and he looks down at Aki, gold eyes bright and wet and searching madly for a sign.
Not without him. He won't come without him and the moment he has his sign. The moment he doesn't have to hold back anymore, he'll release.)
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Pleasure is softer, healthier, happier than pain.
Watching Tsurumaru take his pleasure, Aki's lips curl into a small, pleased little smile. ]
What if I want to? I want all of you, I said, didn't I?
[ Nothing cool, nothing suave, just pleasure and bliss, and he lets himself go back, watching, the flush on Tsurumaru's cheeks, the sound of him breathing, the way that Aki wants more and more and more of him, wondering how it might feel to touch and be touched, to press in and take, to give, to share everything that he has.
His fingers move faster over himself, jerking harder, hips pressing into his own touch as he gives himself over to it, and it's close, it's so close, but he wants the taste, the feeling, and he moans around Tsurumaru's cock in his mouth as he basks in the sheer pleasure of it. ]
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He looks down at Aki. This audacious man below him and--
Caught off guard, eyes wide with surprise, face bright red, his ears burning with heat, he hisses. He'll knock that smile off Aki's face, he starts to think only to find himself at his mercy again. Is he really going to do this? He feels how Aki works him, pushing him closer and closer to the point of no return. He can hear Aki working himself and he knows he's close. He wants this. They both want this and he bucks forward, forcing Aki to take him more, and he cries. His voice loud, clear, and reverberating off the walls. It's the loudest he's ever been for him.
All he feels is pure, dizzying relief as he finally reaches peak. His cock twitches as he comes. Leaning forward, curling into himself, he grabs Aki desperately for support, roughly yanking at his hair. A muffled whine spills from his lips as his hold immediately loosens. Spent, blissed, and so utterly undone.)
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It's pleasure, pure and relieving, exactly what he's wanted after days and weeks of uncertainty, because right now Aki is so, completely, devastatingly owned by this man that he doesn't know what to do with himself.
Instead, he groans as Tsurumaru comes, pulling at his hair, squeezing at him, and he presses his thumb against himself, curls his hand, jerks as he swallows, and soon he's staining his own fingers with his pleasure, shivering as he draws his mouth back and rests his forehead on Tsurumaru's thigh, breathing in and out.
Perfect. So perfect.
Messy, dizzying, delicious, overwhelming in a thousand little ways. Good. ]
Tsuru...
[ The idea of standing is impossible, legs wobbly, so Aki slumps into the bed. ]
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Aki.
(Come into his arms. He wants to hold him. Take care of him though whatever he could do now wouldn't compare to what Aki's just done,)
Amazing, so amazing. (He can barely string a sentence together and when he does, his words are rushed and breathy,) Come here. I want you.
I still want you.
(He's not done with him yet.)
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Aki doesn't kiss him, just in case, but he leans in and kisses his jaw, his neck, pressing soft reminders of his affection against his skin, arms wrapping around the lean frame of the man beside him and tugging him closer. It's almost too easy to settle in and fill the void of space in the bed, and the smile on his face isn't faltering for even a moment. ]
I want you, too. I've wanted you for weeks.
[ He's been filled with longing. Sorry, Tsurumaru. ]
You can have me.
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He's still riding it when he rolls in his hold so he can be on top of him. Swaying as he rises, straddling him and looking down to see all of him now that he has him. Like this, Aki can also see him. Everything. The entirety of his frame, lean muscle, the graceful curve of his waist, the warm flush of his cheeks, and eyes still bright and constricted. A version of Tsurumaru Kuninaga that only wants to show off, who only wants to be the best, who only wants to be loved.
He teases,)
Poor Aki.
(He places the palm of his hand on Aki's center, hands splayed and tracing muscle, exploring every line, slowly. He's deliberate as he moves up to his chest, around and then across his nipple, to his collar... and all the while he leans in closer and closer until he's flat on top of him and his face is buried in the crook of his neck and shoulder, nuzzling against him.)
My poor, wonderful Aki.
(And he begins to pepper him with dizzied kisses. He'd said it. Aki is his. His, his, his, he thinks hazily. His kisses slow as he begins to settle, as the rush runs its course,)
I'm sorry... (Pressing his mouth against his neck, murmuring, ) ... For making you wait...
(And suddenly, there's teeth, nipping lightly at first,)
Thank you. (For waiting. For being so good. For taking such care of him. For putting up with him.) Thank you.
(Harder. Because he knows how he feels about him. Because he knows what cigarettes he likes. Because he knows what spot he likes. Because he knows he'll like it.
And he lets his teeth sink into skin.)
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Teeth on skin, biting, the weight of Tsurumaru pushing him down into the bed, soft skin and warm caress blindsided by the piecing pain of teeth - it makes him burn, it makes him want, fire igniting inside of him again, and if he had any measure of strength inside him he’d be hard again, ready for Tsurumaru to do as he pleases, ready for him to give or take, it didn’t even matter.
Closing his eyes and tilting his head back, he breathes out as he listens to each and every single word, basking in the sheer and utter pleasure of it, the way that he feels as if he’s come to life, something breathed into him from the sheer passion of the moment, an explosion of feelings.
His Aki, Tsurumaru says, and Aki moans with it, delight at being possessed, at being claimed, belonging. His Aki, and his Tsuru, wrapped up together with pleasure and desire, his heart beating too loud in his chest. He didn’t think he could have feelings like this any more. He didn’t think he could have happiness like this any more.
Aki didn’t think he could stumble so close to love, like and desire mixing together to create something new and exciting, wonderful and frightening.
Tilting his head back, giving Tsurumaru room and space, he groans, fingers stroking over his legs, his hips, any soft skin he can reach. He just wants to touch, to anchor himself, victim to every piece of joy that Tsurumaru is offering him. ]
Tsuru… Tsuru…
[ Moaning his name, claiming it, ambrosia on his tongue. ]
I’ll be yours. You can bite me again.
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Relaxing his jaw, breaking free, kissing a mark he doesn't really see in his haze, and... he settles. All of his weight collapses on top of Aki, slipping next to him, he curls next to him, nestling against him.)
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He's happy. Aki is happy.
Turning his head, he tugs Tsuru against his body, eyes closing. ]
You're warm.
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Of course. (Softly, contently,) I'm alive.
(Not just a sword. Not just cold steel. He's alive. Flesh and blood.)
You are, too.
(Warm and alive.)
Don't forget to tell me... if they're better.
(The cigarettes. But from the way his voice trails off lazily, growing quieter... he might not be awake. He's comfortable here. It's warm and feels safe and good and he feels like he can... rest.)
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So much.
Nuzzling into Tsurumaru, he smiles fondly. ]
We're alive.
[ For as long as it lasts. ]
We should have one now. [ He's reaching for the side table, for the packet and a lighter. ] If you don't mind.
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"We?" He didn't miss that and he sighs,)
I want to know.
(He's curious.)
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He doesn't. But he could. ]
I'll start it, then.
[ Lighting the cigarette is easy, and Aki brings it to his mouth, takes a long draw - bliss, his proper brand, feeling good - before he lets the smoke drift out from his lips, holding it out to Tsurumaru. ]
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It's nice to see his gift appreciated. It's good to know that he did well.
And when he offers, he looks at the cigarette, at Aki, and back at the cigarette. Lifting himself up just enough to meet him, he leans in and takes a drag. Eyes closed, inhaling slowly. He recognizes this taste. He's tasted and smelled it on Aki plenty of times before but this is stronger. He doesn't dislike it but it's a different experience from using a kiseru pipe which is what he's more accustomed to. Maybe that's why he doesn't take as much as Aki.
When he's finished, he holds his breath and slips off. Tilting his face up to look up at him, he exhales slowly, letting the smoke spill.)
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Watching Tsurumaru draw in from the cigarette, breathe it out, the smell of smoke, painfully familiar... It reminds him of home, and people that are lost, but he's not filled with the same agonising pain as before. He'd considered giving up, back home, wanting to try and live a little longer, as if this was the real risk.
He picked it back up with the stresses of kaiju.
Leaning in, he nudges their noses together, presses a kiss against Tsurumaru's mouth. ]
Is that more familiar?
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Mhm. You're better.
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Thank you. For bringing me them.
[ The sentiment kills him. ]
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