(What's so funny, he wonders, and his attention once again goes to the box between them. Before he can register it again, Aki takes it and places it atop him and he mumbles again. It sounds like the start of a question, "What's that?"
Reflexively, he leans into his touch, feeling the warmth of his hand against him and he thinks he might be able to go back to sleep again with how nice it feels. Of course, it makes the box on his head fall off once again and he fumbles to catch it with both of his hands, sitting upright and becoming a little more alert. The box tumbles into his open palms and it's only now that he realizes that this brightly colored box is a gift. A second later, it dawns on him what day it is, and it's like one spark after another as everything falls into place and he starts to really wake up.
Smiling down at the gift, feeling excited at the idea of what might be inside, he shifts to move closer to Aki... and leans across him, stretching to reach out for the side of the bed. )
Wait, wait...
(As if on cue, two of the hummingbirds stir start to push small gift bag out from under. He loops his fingers around the string and pulls himself back up, using Aki as support. Repositioning himself next to Aki, he offers the bag to him,)
Happy Christmas, Aki.
(This is what they're supposed to say this morning, right?)
[ Watching Tsuru move is sweet, and it reminds Aki of all he has here - the happiness, the sense of peace and contentment, the joy. He’s made a life for himself with Denji and Tsurumaru; he doesn’t want to give it up. No one is going to take this from him, not if he has anything to say about it. Not when he only has such a short amount of time left.
Leaning in, he finally takes what he wants, pressing a kiss to his partner’s forehead gently. He also opens his arms, as if asking Tsuru to come and settle against his chest under the blankets, straddling him. He’d be happier that way for sure. ]
Happy Christmas.
[ Happy, truly happy.
Aki nudges the box closer with a soft hum, his tracker ring flickering in the low, humming light of the room. It’s something, isn’t it? Something special. They’re something special. ]
(It feels natural to settle against Aki, relaxing against him and feeling like he belongs here. He takes a second to readjust the front of his sleeping robe, covering his chest properly and smoothing out his collar. It's like he has to make himself presentable before he accepts Aki's gift but once he's ready, he holds it out in front of him and smiles with anticipation,)
You're excited...
(He doesn't need a ring to be able to tell that much. But carefully, he slides his finger nail against the tape and folds and begins to unwrap the present neatly. He's careful, even with the paper, like he might save it for later... but really, it's just the particular care Tsurumaru gives to most things. Aki had taken the time to wrap it up so prettily and neatly, the least he can do is respect it.)
[ It’s true that he is excited, but he’s nervous as well. Aki has some backup gifts for if this one isn’t received well, but he doesn’t want to end up looking foolish because of it all. The truth is that this gift means something special to him and he wants Tsuru to like it, wants him to appreciate it for the sentiment behind it.
As he opens it and gets inside the gift is revealed. There’s a small box that, when opened, reveals a bracelet - two, actually, with charms on. One has a sword that looks suspiciously like Tsurumaru’s, the other has a sheath that looks familiar for the same reason.
Aki coughs. ]
I thought… We could collect memories. Each time we do something together, we can get a charm to remember it by. Denji has a necklace, but I…
[ He hesitates. ]
I don’t have a lot of time left, so I want to remember the happy moments.
(Carefully setting the paper and ribbons aside, he turns his attention to the box. It's small which isn't a problem but its size makes him curious. Gently, he opens the box and immediately recognizes what it is when he sees a flash of metal.
Precious metal, artfully crafted, delicate compared to himself... he spreads his fingers across it, tracing the band down to the first charm. He recognizes the shape of the curve of the blade and on the other, he can see the small marks that bring familiar embellishments to mind. More jewelry. Another precious gift. His heart skips a beat and his voice catches in his throat. He's thoughtfully quiet and it's Aki's voice that snaps him back to the present.
Looking up, turning to face Aki, eyes wide and bright, he reaches to take Aki's hand in his own and gives it a squeeze,)
We already have memories. (There's no "I thought we could..." about it. They've already done it and ) And I want to make more with you.
(Fingers spreading, fitting between Aki's,)
I like our story. All of it.
("I don't have a lot of time left." Don't say that, he thinks. It makes him sad. He doesn't want to think about that. It cuts through the moment like a knife, it twists, it makes his chest ache uncomfortably, and like Aki, he wants to remember the happy moments. )
I told you, I would take all of your days and give you all of mine in turn.
(Even without Aki's circumstances, human life is short compared to his. He doesn't want to think about the time they have left. He wants to think about the time they can spend together.)
[ There are other things that Aki wants to give him, little side gifts that don't hold as much meaning, but the bracelet was the most important one. He had found it in a jewellers off one of the main streets when they'd been shopping around in November and had been captivated by the idea of it, of little memories to bring a smile to their faces.
He'll be gone. He sold too much of his life away. But he can live here, a little longer, for them. The medics had already told him he had more life here than he would have at home, so he can take that and be happy. He can enjoy it, for what it is, because he has a reason to want to live now - multiple reasons, all here with him.
Their hands touch, fingers linking together, and Aki almost breathes out a sigh of relief. ]
That sounds...
[ Aki leans in, kissing his cheek gently, nudging their noses together. He takes his free hand to lift the bracelet, drawing away only so that he can unclasp it and go to place it on Tsurumaru's wrist, to touch his soft skin and feel that anchoring sensation of home one again. ]
(Nuzzling against him, leaning close to press a kiss to Aki's lips, quick, fleeting, but still wanting more when he pulls away. Letting Aki take his hand, watching as he places yet another piece of jewelry on him and feeling that same fluttering feeling in his chest all over again.
He feels like his chest might burst when Aki finishes his thought and immediately, his face grows hot and he raises the sleeve of his robe up to cover his face. Still, it's impossible to hide how brightly he's glowing behind it all. He's so red, he probably looks like the crane he's named after.)
You...
(Don't tease him like that. Not now. Not after he's let Aki adorn him a second time with another set of jewelry. The meaning isn't lost on him but admitting it out loud adds another element to it all.)
You're one to talk...!
(It's all he can say at first. He can't deny it. Aki is right. Even if it wasn't his intent, it did sound like that and oh... he thinks he's embarrassed. He's definitely embarrassed, head spinning and face glowing but that hasn't stopped the fluttering feeling. No, if anything, he feels like there's a frenzy inside his chest right now and that just makes his head spin even more.)
[ Aki really can't help the way he laughs, a low little chuckle that thrums through him, a gentle rumble of affection. It's impossible for him to resist the urge to draw Tsurumaru closer, to try and tug him to sit on his lap, even as he leans up to kiss him, to press little reminders of his affection against his jaw and neck. Aki wants to worship him, to show his love over and over again, to do whatever it takes to make sure that this man understands just how adored he is.
He doesn't have enough time, but he will try his best. He'll do whatever it takes.
Finally, his hand lifts to cup Tsurumaru's cheek again, to draw him close, so their foreheads can touch.
The words come out a little bolder than they might have a few months ago, when Aki was still adjusting to the notion of falling in love. ]
Ishmael-san thought that I had already proposed to you with the rings, since I was thinking about it.
[ Their noses brush, their eyes meet, and Aki hums softly. ]
I wouldn't mind it. Making it official, one day.
[ Maybe one day soon. He doesn't like the idea of leaving Tsurumaru as some kind of widow in the future, but he also can't deny that the idea of being bound to him for what little life he has left is a thrilling one, that makes his heart race and his stomach twist.
(There's just the slightest, weakest resistance as he tries to keep his face hidden. He's always cared about his appearance and his image and being a flustered, bright-red tomato isn't how he wants to be perceived at all. Aki laughs but Tsurumaru can only stare wide eyed back at him, surprised, confused, trying to keep up and process everything.
The matching rings. Symbolically becoming a set pair. The promises they've made. To spend the rest of their days together. He opens his mouth to say something back but all that comes out is silence and...
"I wouldn't mind it. Making it official, one day."
It's sudden but there's a short, sudden burst of wind. One might think the window was left open for a second but this gust is warm and instead of snow blowing in from the window... cherry blossom petals fall from thin air. Pale pink, practically white, falling like heavy snow around the two of them. Aki should be familiar with the little bursts of spiritual energy that Tsurumaru sometimes gives off when he's surprised or in a particularly good mood but this feels a more dramatic.)
I'm not a spousal sword.
(He says like that should make everything clear.)
I've never been in a wedding.
(He's never been a part of a dowry or an offering to symbolize any sort of union. That's a different domain. One he's never been involved in. He doesn't belong in a wedding. He can't be married. He's not that kind of sword.
As human as he looks, as human as he acts at times, he isn't human. Marriage as a human concept...
[ Time has lent itself to Aki becoming more and more accustomed to the strangeness that his partner brings to their relationship, and the magical rush of cherry blossoms is one of those things. He's tried to capture them enough times, press them between the pages of books to have them as little memories, but they disappear faster than he can keep them safe and sound.
It's almost disappointing.
Something warm spreads through his gut, a quiet, pleased happiness that settles inside of him and makes him laugh softly. He wants more of these moments, he wants more of these things, the brushes of Tsurumaru's spiritual energy, the tenderness, the way that it inspires something beautiful inside of him.
Leaning in, he kisses him gently, unable to resist. ]
You could be. You could be my spousal sword.
[ Smiling, his hand draws him closer, fingers stroking through his hair. ]
Do you want to...? In the future?
[ There's a hint of nervousness, now. ]
I know I won't live forever, I know... I won't be around long enough for it to be...
[ Worthwhile. He pauses, sudden grief flickering over his face. ]
(It's like one critical attack after the next. The way Aki says things so simply, so plainly, like everything is so easy and natural for him... it makes him crumble.
He could be, Aki says. If he wants to. Does he want to? He starts to nod and catches himself. Still in Aki's arms, he holds onto him in turn, as if he's bracing himself, using him to support himself.
He won't live forever. Tsurumaru knows that but the reminder makes him feel cold.)
Don't say that. (Don't talk about those things. Don't make him sad. He doesn't want to think about it. He doesn't need to be reminded.) You're here now.
(And that's enough. He could say more but he's at a loss for words. He feels like there are a million things welling up inside him but when it comes to speak, nothing comes out.
Shifting, he makes sure he straddles Aki, making sure he's sitting in front of him and takes a breath. Meeting his eyes, Aki can probably see the way something is turning in Tsurumaru's head. Gears are turning, something is working, and it's clear that he's still processing everything.)
You're a human. (Reaching to hold his face, tracing his thumb along his cheek, Tsurumaru whispers voice filled with quiet wonder,) Completely... totally... simply... really a human.
[ There’s no hesitation in Aki as he holds on to Tsurumaru, letting him adjust to clambering on his lap, getting comfortable. It’s natural now, a familiar shift of their bodies, one arm hooking around his waist and the other resting on his thigh, rubbing his fingers over the spot there gently.
They’ve done it before, maybe a dozen times. Each time it makes his heart just a little bit giddy, because somehow he has been chosen. He is the one being loved. Tsurumaru kisses him and touches him and wears his ring, and it’s painfully beautiful to think about.
He nods, and Aki can feel his cheeks getting heated, red and hot. He didn’t wake up with the intention of proposing, but it’s tumbled out of him all the same, a mixture of desperation and uncertainty that’s mingled with his adoration and warmth time and time again. He wants this.
Aki wants him. For the rest of his life.
Drawn back to the present, he tilts his head up. ]
What are you?
[ He pauses, considering for a long moment. ]
I know you’re a blade. I know you were for someone else, once, and that person will always be special. I know you have powers, and that you’re not just a human like I am. I know you’re special.
(When he holds him, he thinks how different it is. It isn't firm or heavy like one would normally carry a sword. Aki holds him gently but like he's precious but it's different from the other times Tsurumaru has been held. He's been handled carefully and delicately before. He is, after all, a treasured item. But no, Aki holds him sweetly, like he's not just some precious thing.
It's so comfortable here. He's been in this position before and it feels so natural. The way he settles on his lap, the way he wraps his arm around him, holds him... like he fits; like he doesn't belong just at his side but with all of him.)
Hold me.
(Keep holding him like this.)
Care for me.
(In more ways than just clove oil and fine paper and polishing cloths. With warm touches, with soft kisses, with heated moments, and with beautiful words. Not locked up in a case or put up on display but handled lovingly but outside and in private.)
Call me yours.
(Not his belonging. Not his property. Not just a sword. His lover. His heart. His heart feels full, his heart feels like it's flying. There's an ache that tugs at it and his vision begins to sparkle at the edges and his voice feels tight in his throat. He's certain that he's happy but he feels like he could cry.)
Even if I'm like this... (Not human. Foreign. Strange. Different. Something dangerous. Something else.) ... Can I be yours?
(His spousal sword. His sword. His spouse. His heart. His?)
[ It’s funny, almost, to say all these things and make all these promises without actually saying the words that are burning on his tongue, demanding to be said. It’s the adoration, the want, the warmth, all of it building and bubbling under the surface, making him yearn for something that’s right there in front of him. Aki has never been adept at this, never been good at it, but he wants to be.
He loves Tsurumaru. He wants to be good enough.
It’s almost too easy to give into him, because it feels perfectly natural. It feels right.
After everything they’ve done and been through together… This is what they’ve earned. ]
You’re mine. You’re my partner, Tsurumaru, you’re…
[ Breathless, filled with emotion, Aki leans close.
He doesn’t deserve this. He’s going to die. Tsurumaru will be left alone.
But he’ll have Denji. He’ll have memories. Maybe in the next life they can be together again. ]
I’ll be yours too. However you want me. I’ll stay with you.
He still doesn't know if it's possible. Humans and kami are different things. Some day, Aki will die and he'll have to carry that familiar weight of grief all over again. These warm, bright, exciting days will end and he'll inevitably return to a familiar, cold, dark, and quiet grave.
He still doesn't know if this is right. A lot of things could go wrong. But if they're like this. If they become like that.
Draping his arms around Aki, pulling himself up, leaning in.
He doesn't need to know everything. If he thinks about himself at the beginning of the year, there were plenty of things he didn't know. A thousand things he never considered. And each time, Aki had been patient, waited, explained, helped him understand.)
Yes. (They can figure this out too.) I want you.
You and all of your time.
(Vision blurry, chest rising and falling, heart pounding, he presses his mouth against Aki's. Slowly, sweetly, lovingly. He loves Aki. He loves him.
[ It doesn't need to be more than that, does it? It doesn't have to be anything except what they want it to be, anything expect the happiness and joy that comes with two people finding one another in the midst of everything. His joy and his warmth settles in him like something sweet, and he lifts his hands, metal and flesh, to cup Tsurumaru's cheek gently.
He's happy here. He's allowed to be happy here.
Leaning back, he smiles, only stopping to return the kiss, to let his arms wrap around the other man and hold him gently, fingers curling in his hair. ]
(Perfectly framed in his hands, he blinks away some of the moisture in his eyes and smiles at him; beautiful, radiating, and practically preening for Aki. He leans in, pushing him back against the pillows, and hums pleasantly as he runs his fingers through his hair. He keeps close. Even when Aki breaks away, he nuzzles against him. )
Husband...
(The word doesn't sound right or real to him but he sighs and tries again, )
My husband.
(It feels new and exciting to him and he shifts atop him, hugging him close and speaking sweetly,)
(... there's a series of beeps at the door, signaling security access being granted. Someone is about to come in and Tsurumaru immediately pulls back, slipping back to Aki's side while pulling the covers partially over them.
The door opens with a slide and in comes...
... A hummingbird drone, carrying a gift bag. It zips in and leaves the bag on the floor beside them and zips right back out, the door closing behind it as if nothing had happened.)
(Lying down, huddled next to Aki, he looks up from over the covers. Compared to his partner, Tsurumaru really just as to laugh as he cuddles closer. Teasing,)
(Turning his face to make it easier for him, he leans back and practically purrs as Aki teases him. Reaching up to wrap his arms around him, his hands coming to rest on the back of Aki's neck, he runs his fingers through his hair.)
Maybe I want to see you mad for me.
(And he turns to kiss him, nipping at him, teasing, trying to get a reaction,)
Crazy for me.
(Looking up at him with lidded eyes, smiling playfully, fingers twirling through his hair, tugging gently as he sighs,)
[ Moments of jealousy, of idle rage, of frustration and hurt - Aki had given it all to him. He had sunk into the feelings, pathetic and sour of him, despite - everything.
Leaning in, he kisses Tsurumaru's forehead, his cheek, his nose, laughing softly. ]
(He tries to keep up, tries to catch his kisses and laughs every time he fails. Heart pounding in his chest, face glowing to a light shade of pink, he shifts beneath him. He feels warm and if he had his ring on right now, Aki would feel his patience running out, his excitement growing, how much he wants him.
When he speaks again, he keeps his voice quiet and low, the way he always does when they're alone in their room. He won't let anyone else hear him. Right now, he's only for Aki.)
You aren't going to make me wait until our wedding, are you?
(He's teasing. He's joking. They share the same bed; they've made love so many times already; he's seen him shameless before; it would be silly to suddenly pretend to have modesty. )
Make me yours--
(And there's another beep at the door and Tsurumaru shoves Aki away again. He holds his breath as the hummingbirds make yet another delivery and he doesn't take another breath until they leave. When they're gone, he takes a deep breath and just lies there... looking completely dumbfounded.)
[ Aki is touching him, fingers stroking along the soft shape of his waist, his hip, sneaking up and above Tsurumaru's shirt - seeking out the heat of his body, the flush of him, the way that he wants to kiss him until his lips are numb and bruised, until they're as close as two people can be -
and then the door opens again, and his fingers drop away with a huff of noise, his eyes widening for a moment. ]
... That...
[ Twice? There's no way, surely?
Groaning, he leans in and puts his forehead on Tsurumaru's shoulder with a groan. ]
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no subject
Reflexively, he leans into his touch, feeling the warmth of his hand against him and he thinks he might be able to go back to sleep again with how nice it feels. Of course, it makes the box on his head fall off once again and he fumbles to catch it with both of his hands, sitting upright and becoming a little more alert. The box tumbles into his open palms and it's only now that he realizes that this brightly colored box is a gift. A second later, it dawns on him what day it is, and it's like one spark after another as everything falls into place and he starts to really wake up.
Smiling down at the gift, feeling excited at the idea of what might be inside, he shifts to move closer to Aki... and leans across him, stretching to reach out for the side of the bed. )
Wait, wait...
(As if on cue, two of the hummingbirds stir start to push small gift bag out from under. He loops his fingers around the string and pulls himself back up, using Aki as support. Repositioning himself next to Aki, he offers the bag to him,)
Happy Christmas, Aki.
(This is what they're supposed to say this morning, right?)
no subject
Leaning in, he finally takes what he wants, pressing a kiss to his partner’s forehead gently. He also opens his arms, as if asking Tsuru to come and settle against his chest under the blankets, straddling him. He’d be happier that way for sure. ]
Happy Christmas.
[ Happy, truly happy.
Aki nudges the box closer with a soft hum, his tracker ring flickering in the low, humming light of the room. It’s something, isn’t it? Something special. They’re something special. ]
Can you open this first?
no subject
You're excited...
(He doesn't need a ring to be able to tell that much. But carefully, he slides his finger nail against the tape and folds and begins to unwrap the present neatly. He's careful, even with the paper, like he might save it for later... but really, it's just the particular care Tsurumaru gives to most things. Aki had taken the time to wrap it up so prettily and neatly, the least he can do is respect it.)
no subject
[ It’s true that he is excited, but he’s nervous as well. Aki has some backup gifts for if this one isn’t received well, but he doesn’t want to end up looking foolish because of it all. The truth is that this gift means something special to him and he wants Tsuru to like it, wants him to appreciate it for the sentiment behind it.
As he opens it and gets inside the gift is revealed. There’s a small box that, when opened, reveals a bracelet - two, actually, with charms on. One has a sword that looks suspiciously like Tsurumaru’s, the other has a sheath that looks familiar for the same reason.
Aki coughs. ]
I thought… We could collect memories. Each time we do something together, we can get a charm to remember it by. Denji has a necklace, but I…
[ He hesitates. ]
I don’t have a lot of time left, so I want to remember the happy moments.
no subject
Precious metal, artfully crafted, delicate compared to himself... he spreads his fingers across it, tracing the band down to the first charm. He recognizes the shape of the curve of the blade and on the other, he can see the small marks that bring familiar embellishments to mind. More jewelry. Another precious gift. His heart skips a beat and his voice catches in his throat. He's thoughtfully quiet and it's Aki's voice that snaps him back to the present.
Looking up, turning to face Aki, eyes wide and bright, he reaches to take Aki's hand in his own and gives it a squeeze,)
We already have memories. (There's no "I thought we could..." about it. They've already done it and ) And I want to make more with you.
(Fingers spreading, fitting between Aki's,)
I like our story. All of it.
("I don't have a lot of time left." Don't say that, he thinks. It makes him sad. He doesn't want to think about that. It cuts through the moment like a knife, it twists, it makes his chest ache uncomfortably, and like Aki, he wants to remember the happy moments. )
I told you, I would take all of your days and give you all of mine in turn.
(Even without Aki's circumstances, human life is short compared to his. He doesn't want to think about the time they have left. He wants to think about the time they can spend together.)
no subject
He'll be gone. He sold too much of his life away. But he can live here, a little longer, for them. The medics had already told him he had more life here than he would have at home, so he can take that and be happy. He can enjoy it, for what it is, because he has a reason to want to live now - multiple reasons, all here with him.
Their hands touch, fingers linking together, and Aki almost breathes out a sigh of relief. ]
That sounds...
[ Aki leans in, kissing his cheek gently, nudging their noses together. He takes his free hand to lift the bracelet, drawing away only so that he can unclasp it and go to place it on Tsurumaru's wrist, to touch his soft skin and feel that anchoring sensation of home one again. ]
It sounds like a proposal, Tsuru.
no subject
He feels like his chest might burst when Aki finishes his thought and immediately, his face grows hot and he raises the sleeve of his robe up to cover his face. Still, it's impossible to hide how brightly he's glowing behind it all. He's so red, he probably looks like the crane he's named after.)
You...
(Don't tease him like that. Not now. Not after he's let Aki adorn him a second time with another set of jewelry. The meaning isn't lost on him but admitting it out loud adds another element to it all.)
You're one to talk...!
(It's all he can say at first. He can't deny it. Aki is right. Even if it wasn't his intent, it did sound like that and oh... he thinks he's embarrassed. He's definitely embarrassed, head spinning and face glowing but that hasn't stopped the fluttering feeling. No, if anything, he feels like there's a frenzy inside his chest right now and that just makes his head spin even more.)
no subject
He doesn't have enough time, but he will try his best. He'll do whatever it takes.
Finally, his hand lifts to cup Tsurumaru's cheek again, to draw him close, so their foreheads can touch.
The words come out a little bolder than they might have a few months ago, when Aki was still adjusting to the notion of falling in love. ]
Ishmael-san thought that I had already proposed to you with the rings, since I was thinking about it.
[ Their noses brush, their eyes meet, and Aki hums softly. ]
I wouldn't mind it. Making it official, one day.
[ Maybe one day soon. He doesn't like the idea of leaving Tsurumaru as some kind of widow in the future, but he also can't deny that the idea of being bound to him for what little life he has left is a thrilling one, that makes his heart race and his stomach twist.
A real family. To be a real husband -
impossible dreams, once. ]
no subject
The matching rings. Symbolically becoming a set pair. The promises they've made. To spend the rest of their days together. He opens his mouth to say something back but all that comes out is silence and...
"I wouldn't mind it. Making it official, one day."
It's sudden but there's a short, sudden burst of wind. One might think the window was left open for a second but this gust is warm and instead of snow blowing in from the window... cherry blossom petals fall from thin air. Pale pink, practically white, falling like heavy snow around the two of them. Aki should be familiar with the little bursts of spiritual energy that Tsurumaru sometimes gives off when he's surprised or in a particularly good mood but this feels a more dramatic.)
I'm not a spousal sword.
(He says like that should make everything clear.)
I've never been in a wedding.
(He's never been a part of a dowry or an offering to symbolize any sort of union. That's a different domain. One he's never been involved in. He doesn't belong in a wedding. He can't be married. He's not that kind of sword.
As human as he looks, as human as he acts at times, he isn't human. Marriage as a human concept...
... feels out of reach for him.)
no subject
It's almost disappointing.
Something warm spreads through his gut, a quiet, pleased happiness that settles inside of him and makes him laugh softly. He wants more of these moments, he wants more of these things, the brushes of Tsurumaru's spiritual energy, the tenderness, the way that it inspires something beautiful inside of him.
Leaning in, he kisses him gently, unable to resist. ]
You could be. You could be my spousal sword.
[ Smiling, his hand draws him closer, fingers stroking through his hair. ]
Do you want to...? In the future?
[ There's a hint of nervousness, now. ]
I know I won't live forever, I know... I won't be around long enough for it to be...
[ Worthwhile. He pauses, sudden grief flickering over his face. ]
But it would be...
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He could be, Aki says. If he wants to. Does he want to? He starts to nod and catches himself. Still in Aki's arms, he holds onto him in turn, as if he's bracing himself, using him to support himself.
He won't live forever. Tsurumaru knows that but the reminder makes him feel cold.)
Don't say that. (Don't talk about those things. Don't make him sad. He doesn't want to think about it. He doesn't need to be reminded.) You're here now.
(And that's enough. He could say more but he's at a loss for words. He feels like there are a million things welling up inside him but when it comes to speak, nothing comes out.
Shifting, he makes sure he straddles Aki, making sure he's sitting in front of him and takes a breath. Meeting his eyes, Aki can probably see the way something is turning in Tsurumaru's head. Gears are turning, something is working, and it's clear that he's still processing everything.)
You're a human. (Reaching to hold his face, tracing his thumb along his cheek, Tsurumaru whispers voice filled with quiet wonder,) Completely... totally... simply... really a human.
... What am I for you?
(Human? A sword? A kami?)
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They’ve done it before, maybe a dozen times. Each time it makes his heart just a little bit giddy, because somehow he has been chosen. He is the one being loved. Tsurumaru kisses him and touches him and wears his ring, and it’s painfully beautiful to think about.
He nods, and Aki can feel his cheeks getting heated, red and hot. He didn’t wake up with the intention of proposing, but it’s tumbled out of him all the same, a mixture of desperation and uncertainty that’s mingled with his adoration and warmth time and time again. He wants this.
Aki wants him. For the rest of his life.
Drawn back to the present, he tilts his head up. ]
What are you?
[ He pauses, considering for a long moment. ]
I know you’re a blade. I know you were for someone else, once, and that person will always be special. I know you have powers, and that you’re not just a human like I am. I know you’re special.
[ But, well. Aki smiles. ]
For me? To me? You’re Tsuru. You’re my heart.
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It's so comfortable here. He's been in this position before and it feels so natural. The way he settles on his lap, the way he wraps his arm around him, holds him... like he fits; like he doesn't belong just at his side but with all of him.)
Hold me.
(Keep holding him like this.)
Care for me.
(In more ways than just clove oil and fine paper and polishing cloths. With warm touches, with soft kisses, with heated moments, and with beautiful words. Not locked up in a case or put up on display but handled lovingly but outside and in private.)
Call me yours.
(Not his belonging. Not his property. Not just a sword. His lover. His heart. His heart feels full, his heart feels like it's flying. There's an ache that tugs at it and his vision begins to sparkle at the edges and his voice feels tight in his throat. He's certain that he's happy but he feels like he could cry.)
Even if I'm like this... (Not human. Foreign. Strange. Different. Something dangerous. Something else.) ... Can I be yours?
(His spousal sword. His sword. His spouse. His heart. His?)
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He loves Tsurumaru. He wants to be good enough.
It’s almost too easy to give into him, because it feels perfectly natural. It feels right.
After everything they’ve done and been through together… This is what they’ve earned. ]
You’re mine. You’re my partner, Tsurumaru, you’re…
[ Breathless, filled with emotion, Aki leans close.
He doesn’t deserve this. He’s going to die. Tsurumaru will be left alone.
But he’ll have Denji. He’ll have memories. Maybe in the next life they can be together again. ]
I’ll be yours too. However you want me. I’ll stay with you.
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He still doesn't know if it's possible. Humans and kami are different things. Some day, Aki will die and he'll have to carry that familiar weight of grief all over again. These warm, bright, exciting days will end and he'll inevitably return to a familiar, cold, dark, and quiet grave.
He still doesn't know if this is right. A lot of things could go wrong. But if they're like this. If they become like that.
Draping his arms around Aki, pulling himself up, leaning in.
He doesn't need to know everything. If he thinks about himself at the beginning of the year, there were plenty of things he didn't know. A thousand things he never considered. And each time, Aki had been patient, waited, explained, helped him understand.)
Yes. (They can figure this out too.) I want you.
You and all of your time.
(Vision blurry, chest rising and falling, heart pounding, he presses his mouth against Aki's. Slowly, sweetly, lovingly. He loves Aki. He loves him.
Yes, yes, yes.)
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[ It doesn't need to be more than that, does it? It doesn't have to be anything except what they want it to be, anything expect the happiness and joy that comes with two people finding one another in the midst of everything. His joy and his warmth settles in him like something sweet, and he lifts his hands, metal and flesh, to cup Tsurumaru's cheek gently.
He's happy here. He's allowed to be happy here.
Leaning back, he smiles, only stopping to return the kiss, to let his arms wrap around the other man and hold him gently, fingers curling in his hair. ]
I think...
[ Breathless, quiet against his mouth. ]
I think I would like being your husband.
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Husband...
(The word doesn't sound right or real to him but he sighs and tries again, )
My husband.
(It feels new and exciting to him and he shifts atop him, hugging him close and speaking sweetly,)
I think I would like it, too.
(Leaning in for another kiss... )
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The door opens with a slide and in comes...
... A hummingbird drone, carrying a gift bag. It zips in and leaves the bag on the floor beside them and zips right back out, the door closing behind it as if nothing had happened.)
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Frowning, he gazes at the door, the drone, the gift, before he flops back in the bed and groans softly. ]
I forgot how popular you are.
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Are you jealous?
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[ Aki hums, leaning down to kiss his cheek, his jaw, close to his mouth. ]
You said you'd be my husband.
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Maybe I want to see you mad for me.
(And he turns to kiss him, nipping at him, teasing, trying to get a reaction,)
Crazy for me.
(Looking up at him with lidded eyes, smiling playfully, fingers twirling through his hair, tugging gently as he sighs,)
Aki.
(Dearest Aki.)
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[ Moments of jealousy, of idle rage, of frustration and hurt - Aki had given it all to him. He had sunk into the feelings, pathetic and sour of him, despite - everything.
Leaning in, he kisses Tsurumaru's forehead, his cheek, his nose, laughing softly. ]
It's just for you.
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(He tries to keep up, tries to catch his kisses and laughs every time he fails. Heart pounding in his chest, face glowing to a light shade of pink, he shifts beneath him. He feels warm and if he had his ring on right now, Aki would feel his patience running out, his excitement growing, how much he wants him.
When he speaks again, he keeps his voice quiet and low, the way he always does when they're alone in their room. He won't let anyone else hear him. Right now, he's only for Aki.)
You aren't going to make me wait until our wedding, are you?
(He's teasing. He's joking. They share the same bed; they've made love so many times already; he's seen him shameless before; it would be silly to suddenly pretend to have modesty. )
Make me yours--
(And there's another beep at the door and Tsurumaru shoves Aki away again. He holds his breath as the hummingbirds make yet another delivery and he doesn't take another breath until they leave. When they're gone, he takes a deep breath and just lies there... looking completely dumbfounded.)
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[ Aki is touching him, fingers stroking along the soft shape of his waist, his hip, sneaking up and above Tsurumaru's shirt - seeking out the heat of his body, the flush of him, the way that he wants to kiss him until his lips are numb and bruised, until they're as close as two people can be -
and then the door opens again, and his fingers drop away with a huff of noise, his eyes widening for a moment. ]
... That...
[ Twice? There's no way, surely?
Groaning, he leans in and puts his forehead on Tsurumaru's shoulder with a groan. ]
Nn.
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